Right before covid-19, I had a super bad burn out which I eventually healed during the first half-year of the pandemic (had much more free time).

Since the start of this year, things got back to normal and I started working much harder. At least I think that way.

But when I mention it to my friends of family they are like “Dude, you are just working for on average X hours a day. I used myself to work for X hour shifts, and then went out to party with no problem”.

I believe that today I have better control of my burnout state. I am aware of my limits and I do my best not to overwork as back in the days. But yes, some days I have a huge workload and I suffer through it. There are days when I limit myself and do not finish some projects on the same day. But then I don’t go to sleep with a calm mind, nor do I feel good next about it.

It feels like I am in a vicious cycle of being in work mode.  And I have no option to delegate things to others.

I am living in a tiny place with socially reserved people, many rainy days in a row, and a lack of activities to choose from makes everything even more difficult to handle. Sometimes I try to bring some joy into my life by traveling abroad. When returning home I always think “what the hell keeps me returning back to this sh*t hole place?”. For some days or weeks, I complain to myself and maybe to some closest people. And then get back to the same state of mind that everything is just fine as it is. People are some not nice – whatever, it is probably just me. There is nothing to do here – whatever, I’ll just continue with my monotonous walk around the block, once again. I don’t like to work this much – whatever, there is nothing else to do.

What are your thoughts on this? Is it just me being negative? Am I depressed? Should I move to a new place where the weather is good and the people are nice?

Any observations would be highly appreciated.