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Ignorance is holding people back

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  • April 7, 2022 at 12:39 pm #397216
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi sbreeze!

    I’ve experienced something similar. My suggestion is that avoidance reinforces anxiety because it confirms that your fears are true. Whereas, if you do something while you are afraid, chances are that nothing will happen except for the anxiety and if something does happen, it likely won’t be as bad as you fear. By repeatedly confronting fears you learn that a situation is normal and you don’t have to fear it. It does take time! Confronting and allowing yourself to experience difficult feeling leads to gaining confidence in your ability to cope with difficulties as they arise.

    Therapy was a good way to learn how to overcome emotional numbing and learn to manage my emotions.

    Would you like to discuss some difficulties that you have experienced in the past?

    April 7, 2022 at 2:19 pm #397224
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear sbreeze:

    “My problem is too complex” – when a boy’s relationship with his mom is too complex, life becomes too complex and needs to be simplified, layers of unnecessary complications removed from the basic simplicity of life. Do you relate to what I wrote here?

    anita

    April 9, 2022 at 8:52 am #397393
    sbreeze
    Participant

    Helcat, your method is very realistic and down to earth. You put it very simply to words so everybody can understand a way to deal with fears and anxiety, and overcome them.

    anita, I understand your point completely, and agree with you that things should be kept straightforward and simple as possible, as then we are able to appreciate them in it’s natural way.

    Thank you both for taking time to read my thoughts and share yours. In this point in time I feel much better, and can now clearly see that the problem was not the things I described, but rather the emotion(s) that I felt. That are affecting the way I think and see things/people. This was just my way of escaping or seeking help/advice in a difficult situation. Like all people, I feel ‘mess’ of emotions too sometimes, and sometimes emotions take over control. That’s completely okay. That’s why we need to master our emotions.

    With this clarity now I’m better of listening and helping others, rather than to talk any more about my problems. Thanks for asking, Helcat.

    Hope you have a nice day today!

    April 9, 2022 at 9:20 am #397395
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear sbreeze:

    You are very welcome.

    “Sometimes emotions take over… That’s why we need to master our emotions” – well said!

    You expressed that at this point you are experiencing clarity and you therefore prefer to help others and to not talk anymore about your problems. I respect that. You are welcome to post again anytime, so to help others and/ or to help yourself.

    anita

    April 9, 2022 at 9:26 am #397397
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi sbreeze

    I’m glad that you are feeling much better now! That’s very kind of you to say.

    Personally, I don’t see emotions as the problem.

    Often, we become afraid of things due to traumatic past experiences. Humans are great at pattern recognition, so when something bad happens we look for similar scenarios. It is very difficult to live life constantly on guard.

    I like to write down the outcomes of situations that I am afraid of, this helps by providing evidence to combat my fears.

    I believe that coming to terms with traumatic past experiences and learning to control how we respond when emotions occur are important. Any actions we take are more important than the emotions themselves.

    It’s good that you have found your own way of dealing with these things.

    January 16, 2023 at 8:23 pm #413932
    archibaldwitwicky
    Participant

    I think some people may just need to learn to forgive. Some people especially if they are at a young age they don’t know what they want. Sometimes being inexperienced and never having that support system or better yet, that picture of “family” they once knew, isn’t there anymore. Romantic love isn’t the only thing one should look for in a relationship rather, values and goals in life. Never let fear win. Sometimes being misunderstood can sometimes make you blinded to the many truths in life but don’t let that bring you do down. You seem to be a gentleman, a sentimental person, who by the sound of it, seems to have been given tests in life. I’m not sure if you are a religious person per say, but if you know, remember Jesus received opposition from the one closest to him but he maintained himself firm and his purpose here was to be fulfilled.

    Sending warm hugs from a distance,

    Archibald Witwicky

    P.S God is good all the time and all the time God is good. Heal, forgive, and continue to love. You’re a good person.

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