HomeāForumsāRelationshipsāWas sweet a week ago, ignoring and being cold to me the next
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December 23, 2021 at 12:24 pm #390196sarahParticipant
we started chatting on 10 dec (friday) and it was good, he sent a lot of pictures and videos of him on snapchat everyday, every morning. and throughout the day. but i think he does that to everyone on his snap streaks. now i realise whenever i snap him and it had a question or statement in it he never replied to it lmao. he sends personal videos to me sometimes, because he mentions my name in it. then i started liking him because i was physically attracted to him, and he was a fun person.
on the third day of chatting he asked me what i think of him. which made me think he was interested in me. we sexted on the fourth day and it was good. he told me heās never had something like that before. so uk i felt special. but i know heās had a lot of sex experience and talked to a lot of girls. this is when i felt happy and i guess i started to open up more and sent more pics and videos of me on snapchat (like non sexually) and he always called me cute, gorgeous, and complimented me a lot. he saved some pictures and videos in the chat too. and i did the same for his. so at this point i thought he liked me. i felt special.
it was all good until 16 dec (thursday) he started taking longer to reply. but it wasnāt entirely his fault, sometimes i ignored his snap on purpose and left it open just to play hard to get. but on that day too i may have overshared my life and maybe he got the ick.
17 dec (friday) was hell. i ignored some of his snaps, because he was suddenly really late at replying. and i know itās not because heās busy. i saw his snapcount go up. i was sad the whole day because it was going great and suddenly heās distant ? but i pretended fine, we didnāt snap much but that friday night he got drunk and he sent me a personal video with a bottle of beer in his mouth saying he really missed talking to me. i was happy when he said that and i thought āmaybe iāve been too mean by ignoring him and playing hard to getā. that night i couldnāt sleep and i had to confess so i confessed to him that i liked him a lot. it was like 5am for him. he said he was drunk and tired but he wanted to stay awake to talk to me. he said he likes me too. the convo was like this
me: i like you like alot, just telling just so you know him: im getting butterflies bc my crush said she likes me. me: really ? him: yes i like you me: but i like you more than a friend him: i like you more than a friend too. me: do u like other girls him: well i like my mom my aunt and sometimes my sis other than that i donāt have romantic feelings for anyone, and that was it. i didnāt expect anything like a relationship whatsoever. i thought things were great now that we established it.
so next day saturday i sent him snaps normally. but from 11 am (his timing) he disappeared the whole day. he sent me (and others?) a snap of him at like 11am his time and then disappeared til 10 pm when he sent back a selfie. at this point i was really mad like wtf he just disappeared and didnāt say anything about it. at this point i was acting like a crazy angry girlfriend because i wanted updates. but i was so mad and i didnāt say anything i just ignored him the whole time. on sunday i he sent his usual morning selfie. i replied ādisappearing first before you disappear againā (yes so cringe ik). and guess what he sent ? he sent a snap with just āawā with a sad look. Like wtf i expected an explanation and all i got was AW. So i totally ignored him. After a few hours he sent a snap saying āā¦..ā i replied a snap saying āwhatā. he replied but only 18 minutes later i opened and he said āfeeling ignoredā. i replied ābut i amā it was like 11 pm there and he ignored me the whole night. he could snap others but he didnāt reply to mine. only replied when i sent him a long message in the chat saying i wanna stop talking because weāre not āemotionally compatibleā and i need constant attention from the person i like but he canāt give me it. and that i canāt be friends too bc i liked him. only then he replied to my chat (it was 4am for him) and all he said was. āI need to process thisā¦ ttylā and that was 4 am sunday for him. itās tuesday now and he hasnāt gotten back. And our 11 day streak is ending as i write this. iāve been waiting miserably. update: i chatted him on snapchat asking if we can talk. 21 hours later and he hasnt replied. clearly heās ignoring me. i donāt know if he needs more time or heās just going to ghost me. i donāt know what exactly went wrong. did he meet someone else ? was i giving myself too much ? was i needy. was i being too impatient.Ā i kind of realised my mistake. i wish i could restart because i really liked him. like really liked him, he was my ideal guy in looks and personality. i had trust issues too which made me react in such a way. iāve been through many heartbreaks but this was my last straw. i just want to shut myself from everyone i donāt even go out of my room. i was so happy last week. rather it was just a rollercoaster of emotions.
for more information heās 19M from denmark, iām 22F from singapore. met online. iād really appreciate any advice or suggestion. i donāt know what to do to make myself feel better. iāve just been in this state of restlessness and anxiety. (been going on for 5 days) i wonder if heās genuinely need more time or he just doesnāt care about me anymore. i need to ask him but he wonāt even reply. i feel like messaging him on another app but thatās just desperate and obsessive. heās also extroverted and has many friends and girls on his smapchat so maybe heās just playing with me. if he did then i got played. really hard. fell in love with him and now heās gone
December 23, 2021 at 2:11 pm #390238AnonymousGuestDear Sarah:
You had a less than two-weeks long virtual, long-distance (Singapore-Denmark) relationship with a 19-year-old man, never met him in-person, and no plan was made to meet in-person. You had virtual sex aka sexting. You fell in (virtual) love, and yet, your feelings are very real, your pain is real, and I am sorry that you are hurting!
“heās also extroverted and has many friends and girls on his snapchat“- this is what I am guessing happened: because of the available technology, it is too easy for a person to have multiple virtual relationships going on at the same time: too much is virtually going on, new contacts come in, older contact go out.
I can’t imagine that a long-term, monogamous relationship can be possible between two very young people who live in different parts of the world, and who never met in-person. Does it ever happen?
anita
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