Dear Dutchie:

You (when you were close to your 50s) met her (when she was close to her 60s) 10 years ago for the first time, and 8 years ago for the second time, and the two of you “felt a deep strong connection since first meeting“.

Fast forward to 2021: “Either she is not being totally honest (would not be the 1st time, and she has a problem with admitting that she was not honest.. She doesn’t seem to be upfront. I know she doesn’t trust me as she did (she actually said that she fully trusted, that that was a mistake, a mistake she will never make again)…. Why is she behaving like that? Not being upfront, lying and denying… She is always ‘right’.. What is going on?“-

– it seems to me that what has been going on is that the “deep strong connection since first meeting” that you experienced with her for a short time (before you got very depressed, and before her chats with another, married man)- is now a thing of the past: it no longer exists. Seems to me that it may be best for the two of you to separate. How do you feel about living in Europe vs. the U.S.?

anita