Dear kdot;

Seems to me that your girlfriend feels indebted to her mother and to her sister, that she wanted to go to the cruise with you, probably preferring to go with you, but then she started feeling guilty, like she has to give her resources (money, material goods, time, work) to her family first, not to her boyfriend.

This kind of guilt, feeling indebted to the family of origin, may continue when she gets married, leading her to give much of her resources to her family of origin instead of to her family of choice (husband and children).

“How should I feel?”- just the way you feel. “what should I do?”- talk to her, gently ask her to tell you more about that indebtedness feeling that she mentioned toward her sister, and maybe toward her mother. Ask her how it feels, when it started, get to know her better.

anita