Dear Kabange:

I hope you feel  better soon, and that you will find a new tribe.

“What really is my lesson in this experience?”- the lesson may be somewhere in between these two events: (1) he “discussed a future together” with you, and (2) he “broke off contact without a word”.

For the purpose of looking for that lesson, I ask: what happened in between those two events?

anita

• This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by .

Dear Kabange:

Here is the story then: he wanted a married woman (A), but because she was married, he couldn’t form Plan A. Blocked in this way,  he went for B (you). He “seemed really keen” with you and has “discussed a future together” with you, meaning- he was in the process of forming Plan B. Next, A’s marriage broke down, he then abandoned B and Plan B “without a word”, and formed Plan A. Now, he is “happy together” with A.

“What really is my lesson in this experience?”- He replaced B with A (he changed the woman in his life), but he didn’t replace/ change his character; He is still the same man who walked away from you “without a word”.

This means that he may walk away from A without a word, if a more attractive prospect, in his mind, comes along (C), dropping Plan A for Plan C. A man of character does not walk away from a woman without a word.

anita

Dear Kabange:

You are welcome. You wrote: “He eventually broke off contact without a word… I had just assumed that the issue was something about me.. what I said or did”-

-if by “what I said or did” you mean that you verbally or physically assaulted him, threatened him with violence, and/ or destroyed his property– then it would be understandable that he broke off contact without a word because of something you said or did.

Did you do any of these things I italicized?

anita