Dear Jina:

“Can a person who didn’t love you yet, who was experiencing ‘grass is greener syndrome’, feel like they might have made a mistake in leaving you before the relationship even had time to develop?”-I am having trouble understanding your question. Can you rephrase your question so that it is clear?

anita

Three months to be dating can’t be a deep love because it takes time to know one another for the true selves. You were just learning about him and his true personality. I think it is normal for people to date a few months and then decide to end it. This is about the time one decides it has no future. Nothing wrong with this, it is actually a good thing to call it off before more time is wasted. So no, I don’t see this as him having made a mistake to end it after just 3 months. This guy may be a “player” and just out to date people for short periods of time. The grass is always greener for some people. If he said this, “That he respected me as a person, that my being was so precious, that he didn’t want to steal my chance at finding someone who could really love me in the future.”  SO- if he meant it with sincerity, well it sounds like he wanted the best for both you and him. I see truth in this statement. He wanted to stop dating you. You wanted to continue. It could be that in a few months you see the wisdom of his making this choice and are grateful that it has ended. I know someone who does this cycling in and out of relationships all the time, he uses people. Now I don’t know this young man but you can decide for yourself if he seems like a good person or if he seems like a user. I had to break up with this guy I really liked when we were 20, because he had denial about something that impacted our relationship. We could not move forward until he took action but he wouldn’t. I just knew we couldn’t go on as he was not right for me. I really liked this guy, did not love him yet, we dated about three months like you all and had a lot of fun. I knew we had to end it. I still think about him sometimes and yet I went on to find love several times. It just wasn’t meant to be a long term thing between us. Sometimes it is wiser to stop than to keep hanging on. You will find another person to like or even fall in love with. Kind of a bitter sweet thing but it is better than hanging on to hang on and finding oneself miserable.