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What a mess!

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  • May 30, 2013 at 5:53 am #36263
    bev
    Participant

    Hi,

    I am a 29 year old single mum who has serial monogamous relationships since the age of 16 but recently has had a life changing experience that has left me stumped and it would be nice to hear others views advice on the situation. I split with the father of my child in january and because of my desire for a relationship was dating someone by march! I had physical problems in my previous relationship where my partner had issues with sex so thats one of the main reasons we split! My confidence and self esteem being rather low due to this and having a baby i then ended up sleeping with the new guy after dating once even though i dont do ‘caual’ i want commitment etc. Then i asked the new guy for a relationship (which he said he would have wanted if i had not asked?) to no avail, we then kept on seeing each other/sleeping with each and then i did my usual mini melt down why cant we be together? etc? he said he did not want commitment etc which i pushed for and now he has blocked my number and wont speak to me? What a naff situation! I need tips to forget and move on as i work with this guy,but he is leaving soon!

    Any ideas?

    May 30, 2013 at 7:54 am #36266
    Jeff
    Participant

    Personally, I say don’t forget. This is something you can learn from, even if it didn’t work out the way you wanted. I strongly suspect that you never grieved that old relationship to come to terms with it, and so you rebounded with the first guy who came along. Ask yourself, do you want to be with this guy because you care or because you hate being alone? You say yourself that you’ve been in relationships since you were 16 and now you are 29. But let me ask- when did you ever have a chance to work on your own self instead of worrying about a relationship? You have never been alone in your entire adult lifetime. Perhaps it’s time to focus on you and not worry about being with someone. That is just my opinion.

    May 30, 2013 at 12:09 pm #36282
    bev
    Participant

    Jeff- i think you have completely hit the nail on the head i get scared about being on my own and feel like i need other people to reassure me that i am good person by being in a relationship.

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