Dear Susan:

“At 58 I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not very likable”- your husband and daughter like you, that’s two people, two people who spent a whole lot of time with you (35 years and 19 rears respectively) and they still like you!

Regarding your fall out with your husband’s family: “his mother and my 2 sister-in-laws and 2 nieces all turned against me.. they believed I did something malicious against the mother. But it was untrue”- well, that’s a matte of their false belief, not a matter of not liking you. And it is not 5 people who turned against you because of a false belief, but 1 gang of five. Five people that stood together as one, stubborn, not wanting to hear the truth.

“I have somewhat of a tense relationship with my siblings too”- it is often the case that siblings turn against each other, or at the least, maintain their distance when growing up in a hostile home. I don’t know if this was the case in regard to your home of origin.

“my friendships don’t last”- it is difficult to form and maintain friendships at a certain age and older. It is common to form and maintain relationships in teenage years and early twenties; at those ages people are very motivated to make and keep friends. Later on, it changes and people tend to keep to themselves more and more.

“Almost all of my friendships have ended on bad terms.. they all end over a conflict of some sort.. my friendships just  don’t last”- I want to understand better, therefore I ask:

1. Was that the case when you were a teenager as well, and in your early twenties?

2. Can you list for me the conflicts that ended your friendships?

anita