30 year crisis + Covid19. I have dreamed about going to Australia to do working holiday period for four years, I did my exchange studies there and felt more home than in my home country. I have always dreamed of living abroad someday and now, finally, my financial situation would have made working holiday possible, and I’m done with my two university degrees that took nine years of my life. After graduating from my second degree last summer, I met my partner who doesn’t share my dream of living abroad, but we have discussed about it a lot and have decided that I need to go, even it it’s for a couple of months.  I decided that I’ll make my dream come true and go to Oz in late 2020. I have the money and I already arranged things at work so that I could go.

The Covid19 happened and I turned 30. I thought that ok, Australia is not going to happen, I will make my other dream come true and finally get my own dog – also something that I have dreamed of my whole life and been postponing it because of my Australia dream. I found a great breeder and could get a puppy in late May.  But now I feel totally stuck, I feel like abandoning my dream of returning to Australia would be a mistake, but at the same time it seems that going there isn’t going to be possible any time soon. Life is now and raising a dog would be so fulfilling (I have had a dog before with ex partner, so I have some experience already) but would tie me down. Yesterday I decided that tomorrow I will call the breeder and say that I will try to pursue my other dream of still travelling before I get a dog, but immediately after making that decision I felt absolutely horrible. I feel like I have been postponing both of these dreams for so long and my friends and family are saying that I should really stop over-thinking my decisions and just DO, not just think about things. I play with the idea of a dog making me feel more at ease with my over-thinking and by narrowing my options, the dog would actually make me more at peace than I am now – with the constant urge to go to Australia that would also potentially ruin my relationship.

I don’t know what to do. If there wouldn’t be Covid19, I would go to Australia and then get a dog. But if I’ll wait for it to happen, I could spend even years postponing my dreams and living my life on hold. What do I do?