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Abusive Ex

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  • April 16, 2020 at 11:06 am #349838
    Sammy
    Participant

    My husband was arrested for his domestic violence and he is on probation and has a stay away order for that, but the family judge still gave him generous frequent parenting time with our  2 month old daughter so I have to see him for 3 transfers a week including 2 overnights.  It is devastating as he is always so angry at me and complains that she cries all the time he has her and and had always told me that he was going to punish me by punishing our baby. He returns her to me dirty and she always loses weight.  I am so sad and lonely when she is away from me. The lawyers say that many judges tend to prioritize father’s parental rights above all else and though while now I have full legal and physical custody and have her 2/3 of the time when she is only 6 months, he will likely eventually have half time and shared custody. I am so sad when she is with him. I need help coping with the inevitability that he will be a part of our lives for the next 18 years and will have more and more power over me as he gets more time with her.  I am heartbroken and frightened for our daughter and except for loving her when I have her, cannot protect her from his anger.

    April 16, 2020 at 12:52 pm #349888
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Sammy:

    I suggest that you contact any and every governmental agency (as well as any attorney) that can help you bring about the situation where the only way for your daughter’s to see her father would be under supervised visitations (supervised by child protective services personnel, or the like), so that she is never alone with him.

    Based on his domestic violence record, and any other record of his behavior that point to the likelihood of him neglecting and/or abusing your daughter, work toward the supervised visitations I mentioned.

    If you clearly see that your daughter was abused while in his care (or lack of care), seek court intervention right away and  refuse to hand her to him (while keeping your daughter and yourself safe, consider the protection of a shelter for abused women, if needed).

    For as long as he does spend time alone with your daughter, take notes of all that you observe about the visits, and take photos of your daughter before and after you hand her to him.

    anita

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