Dear Rebecca:

I remember your story and I remember that we communicated, but I don’t see your previous thread or thread on record here. Any idea where I can find your previous threads?

“They are carrying on without me and are doing very well- I’m terrified they’ll be successful and I’ll have to read about them”- if by reading about them, you mean that they will become a national or international success, that is unlikely, statistically speaking. Way too many excellent bands break up, conflicts and disagreements between members happen a lot, members leaving the band. Even if bands are solid and talented, fame and fortune happens only to a small percentage. So don’t be terrified, if you can; adjust this fear to the very small chance of them becoming very famous.

I sure hope that you will soon be able to accept what happened by thoroughly feeling and expressing (here on your thread, if you want) the hurt, sadness and anger that you feel about your hopes and dreams regarding this man and the band, not coming true. Adequately expressed, you will feel way less of these feelings, and way more peace of mind.

anita

Hi Anita I’ve had this talk with a couple of girlfriends and they seem to think that I’m the one rejecting him and that he is feeling this way.. I feel you’re pretty acknowledged and could maybe spot the difference, so please feel free to tell me. This guy who I used to talk to about a previous relationship I was in was always good ears and gave me great advice.. he would try and hangout with me a lot and I would  dismiss it completely because I felt it wasn’t right. I moved up recently close to where he was and have been on and off with a current relationship I’m in now. He made me happy in other ways.. (TMI to say) so I wouldn’t want to get too serious right away because I didn’t feel an emotional attachment. He told me he wanted whatever I wanted and I told him I wasn’t sure if I was ready for anything serious.. he would seem like he was okay with it but at tHe same time he seemed like he would be really mean to me when I’d talk to him or when we talked about that topic.. I’d block him quite a bit off everything when he would make me upset and finally he did the same to me.. He still has me blocked on everything but iMessage where he will still call me and text me and I’m not sure why. I told him this before and he told me he didn’t want me getting upset if I see something I don’t like? I don’t get it because I don’t get jealous and he knows that.. he knows I have someone else too.. He just called me yesterday to see if I wanted to be with him for the weekend too so I’m unsure of his feelings for me I guess.. I thought he doesn’t care but I’m not sure, please help!  I’m trying to not play any games either or string him along so I’m not sure if I am either. I do really like him but need to just love myself first..