Dear Florence jay:

“I find myself feeling increasingly agitated whenever I speak to my parents…I have also come out of three year relationship. Where again, I was the toxic one. I was always mad and was irritable”- you may have been toxic in that relationship, but not in your relationships with your parents, you were not toxic in that context. So it is not that you were toxic again.

Your parents really hurt you so your anger is natural and understandable. It is not toxic, that is, it is not evidence of you being bad. Everyone gets angry when being hurt, it is automatic, instinctive.

Children feel very guilty when feeling angry at a parent, being bad for it. So they push it down best they can, that anger at the parent, but that anger doesn’t go away, it can’t go away. And that anger at your parents spread to anger at anyone, everyone else.

Will you share about your anger at your parents, how they hurt you?

anita