Hi Jenna- I am so sad you are dealing with this, when we are vulnerable we open ourselves up to all kinds of abuse and because he hasn’t physically hurt you doesn’t matter- sometimes the psychological abuse is much worse.

You always end up forgiving him- but the only person you need to forgive is yourself. You made a terrible mistake and now you have to put it right for the sake of your kids and for yourself.

I would seek help for the abuse and PTSD (which you may have due to his manipulative behaviour)- sometimes we go back to check that it was that bad- (like a sore tooth, we keep touching it to see if it has healed) but even if it seems better, it will get bad again. This is the pattern of abusive behaviour.

There is help available at locals women’s groups and organisations to get you the support you need.

You feel bad because you are a good person, but you need to recognise this in yourself and build up your poor self-esteem. Surround yourself with people who care- you will find them when you start to look. Block him from your phone and from your life.

Dear Jenna:

“I just don’t know why I feel so bad after breaking up with him… How could a person miss such bad behavior”?

I think the answer may be right here: “He can be very sweet and sensitive… I didn’t want to abandon him”- you saw him as a hurting child who is in trouble and you wanted to help him, is it so?

anita

You are welcome, Jenna. Post again anytime.

anita