Alecsee… I am sorry you’re going thru this. I am in a post-breakup phase myself, and the thing I’m doing most to cope anyway, is sitting with the waves of pain and just breathing and practicing self-compassion. We are allowed to feel pain… this loss is real.

Dear Alecsee:

I think you are in an impossible situation. No online guide on how to get an ex back can not make your situation possible. Here is the part that makes your situation impossible: “I am waiting for her and they are sexually active”- I don’t see how you can possibly be calm communicating with her knowing that she is sexually active with another man. To add to t he difficulty, she compares you to her boyfriend.

In other words, there is no way for you to not feel very distressed in this situation and as a result act in ways that will hurt you, or continue to hurt you.

I understand that you are very attached to her emotionally, that you really, really don’t want “to Let Her Go”, but she is already gone. You want to climb mount Everest, you wrote, seeing her on that summit, your prize. Problem is she is with another man on that summit.

As difficult as it is for you to let her go  in your own mind, please do. Give up on resuming a relationship with her. What do you think?

anita