Dear Agnes1205
You did post here before, but it was more about the depressed Agnes than a depressed girlfriend.
Here is what you wrote about yourself: “before I met this woman, I actually have some plans.. I used to have a plan like get a job someday after I finished my study and then do everything what I want, do some bad and crazy things like drunk, using drugs, sleep with anyone I want to then kill myself… I already hate my life that much even before I met her“.
After you met her you “was trying to kill myself when she asked me to broke up with her… she’s still ignoring me on WhatsApp. I honestly feel like getting back into that depression“.
See, it is you who is depressed, way before you met her.
This is your current life: “I live with my parents.. my parents usually not at home. I’m alone. I’m not employed, I’m 19 years old and I’m just a college student. I usually just listening to some music and maybe just stare at nothing”.
And then your girlfriend is a woman you never met. And within the online communications with her she lied to you a lot. At one point you wrote to me: “thank you so much for opening my eyes. I was so blind by all of her lies”.
Well, you opened your eyes and then you closed them again.
My input today: you wrote that your father is a doctor. I strongly suggest that you ask your father to arrange for you to see a psychologist/ psychotherapist as soon as possible. I would like to imagine that some time, maybe even this year, you will feel better, feel useful (not useless like you wrote that you feel), that your life will become meaningful to you, that you will get interested in school and in getting a job, making money, and finding love as well. All these things can happen in your life.
Get the professional help first, please.
anita