My main question here is to ask Should I keep following my dreams?

I had a disastrous way of growing. My parents and past relationship were very protective to me, I compared myself with others, and I did not focus on myself nor work hard on a particular skills.
I had problems of being procrastinated and lack of motivation to do things.
I became an artist when my ex constantly helped me ( he is an excellent artist, a strong and driven person )with all the technical issues except me coming up with creative ideas. He helped me solve every single problems for almost 6 years.

I never polished my skills or looking for much medium was suitable for me. Was too dependent on him that I started to hate myself and could not stand the relationship that constantly not letting me grow.

After breaking up, I went from Hong Kong to Canada to study in an Art school (sculpture) for my Master. I borrowed money from my parents. I was devastated and had depression because it was my first time to do everything by myself without know what direction I wanted to go. I tried different things but not being able to be consistent to stick to one thing.
I was emotionally and financially unstable.

It’s my final year and I have to prepare my thesis show. I flew back to Hong Kong because I ran out of money to try to prepare, but I don’t have much resources to continue again. If I used the money I saved from my job, I will end up having my bank account back to 2 digits.

Even after graduation, I don’t know if I still have the energy and money to continue my dream.

I made a big progress to solve problems by myself and less anxious and panic when I need to do things alone.
But, I lost direction to balance my skills, dreams and living.

It seems very difficult but I kept thinking I am just too weak, and the other day I tried a lot of self talk to keep being positive.

Still, I could not worked hard and sometimes do nothing ( almost 2 months ), seems like I want to escape from the reality.
I see my friends are going to another life stage and I feel I am being 20 years old not knowing where to go.

I am 30 now, i hate to use age to identify something.

Just want to know should I just look for a regular job and quit my school or how can I proceed my life and be happy again?

• This topic was modified 6 years ago by gogo.