fbpx
Menu

Lost in Life

HomeForumsTough TimesLost in Life

New Reply
Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #248669
    Ian
    Participant

    Hi Nichole,

    I am terribly sorry for the loss of your mother, I personally do not know what I would do without her, she is my rock. I am sorry for your recent relationship, I  truly hate that for you. I am currently in an emotionally unstable state right now and just today I saw a counselor for the first time in 14 years (I am currently 21), I never believed in the practice of burdening others with my problems, but I recently had such a terrible anxiety attack and was tired of dealing with it alone that I scheduled one and bit the bullet and went for it. I cannot begin to express how much better I felt talking to her, she gave me tips and really just helped with coping in different ways with my problem. Granted talking about it was the hardest part, she was kind and understanding so it made it a bit easier to talk to her. I understand the feeling of the season taking a mental toll, I’m certainly feeling it so I don’t want you to feel alone in that. Coming to the relationship with your brother and father, I would just try to build better memories with them, try and mend what has been broken. I don’t have much experience with those kinds of issues and I apologize on not being able to offer better advice. But when it comes to getting out of ruts, I have a few tips. I would start going to the gym, find a good friend and do that, or even just taking walks or jogging (Humbolt Park looks promising!) get engaged with community activities, or find some friends and find something you all can do weekly such as trivia, or dungeons and dragons, or a book club, etc. Reddit has a good community when it comes to look for people who are looking to play games or start clubs, another thing I recommend is whenever you feel down or any feeling that you don’t want and you cannot go out and exercise or something of that nature is to start naming things you are thankful for and comparing them to things you see inside your apartment or outside, it may seem odd but it has helped me a lot.

     

    I’m sorry if this all is just rambling to you, I just want you to know you aren’t alone and with the right support and determination, things get better. I hope something I said has helped.

    -Ian

    #255239
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear  Nichole:

    Welcome back.

    You were  betrayed  by your ex boyfriend in Florida. But not only by him.  You were betrayed by your older brother who sexually abused you for eight years and you were betrayed by your mother and  father who didn’t  protect you from  your brother, who didn’t notice and stop the  abuse,  and who didn’t  do their job of parenting  you well.

    The solution is  to  not move back to  Florida so to  pursue the relationship with  the man who betrayed you and it is  not staying in the apartment living with  the  father  who betrayed you and the  memories  of the mother who betrayed you as well (I know of the love you feel for her, and I understand about her pain that led  to her addiction, yet it doesn’t  change the betrayal fact).

    It is time for you  to do right by yourself, to be  on your  side, to no longer hate  yourself but to love yourself. It will not be easy because, like you wrote, “every time I find ways to feel better and  be  positive I regress back into negative thinking  and no motivation”- this regression  will happen again and  again.  Progress will be about  functioning well in  spite  of  not feeling  motivated, in  spite  of feeling distressed, to keep going forward nonetheless.

    I think you should  move out of that apartment ASAP. Find your own place away from your family members. Be good to  yourself in  each and every way possible. Choose people  carefully, people who will be attentive and  kind to you, people you can trust to be and stay on your side.

    How about a support group,  something  I mentioned to you before, or counseling?

    anita

     

Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.