Home→Forums→Tough Times→Lost in Life
- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 4 months ago by
Anonymous.
-
AuthorPosts
-
November 26, 2018 at 2:20 pm #248669
Ian
ParticipantHi Nichole,
I am terribly sorry for the loss of your mother, I personally do not know what I would do without her, she is my rock. I am sorry for your recent relationship, I truly hate that for you. I am currently in an emotionally unstable state right now and just today I saw a counselor for the first time in 14 years (I am currently 21), I never believed in the practice of burdening others with my problems, but I recently had such a terrible anxiety attack and was tired of dealing with it alone that I scheduled one and bit the bullet and went for it. I cannot begin to express how much better I felt talking to her, she gave me tips and really just helped with coping in different ways with my problem. Granted talking about it was the hardest part, she was kind and understanding so it made it a bit easier to talk to her. I understand the feeling of the season taking a mental toll, I’m certainly feeling it so I don’t want you to feel alone in that. Coming to the relationship with your brother and father, I would just try to build better memories with them, try and mend what has been broken. I don’t have much experience with those kinds of issues and I apologize on not being able to offer better advice. But when it comes to getting out of ruts, I have a few tips. I would start going to the gym, find a good friend and do that, or even just taking walks or jogging (Humbolt Park looks promising!) get engaged with community activities, or find some friends and find something you all can do weekly such as trivia, or dungeons and dragons, or a book club, etc. Reddit has a good community when it comes to look for people who are looking to play games or start clubs, another thing I recommend is whenever you feel down or any feeling that you don’t want and you cannot go out and exercise or something of that nature is to start naming things you are thankful for and comparing them to things you see inside your apartment or outside, it may seem odd but it has helped me a lot.
I’m sorry if this all is just rambling to you, I just want you to know you aren’t alone and with the right support and determination, things get better. I hope something I said has helped.
-Ian
November 27, 2018 at 7:43 am #255239Anonymous
GuestDear Nichole:
Welcome back.
You were betrayed by your ex boyfriend in Florida. But not only by him. You were betrayed by your older brother who sexually abused you for eight years and you were betrayed by your mother and father who didn’t protect you from your brother, who didn’t notice and stop the abuse, and who didn’t do their job of parenting you well.
The solution is to not move back to Florida so to pursue the relationship with the man who betrayed you and it is not staying in the apartment living with the father who betrayed you and the memories of the mother who betrayed you as well (I know of the love you feel for her, and I understand about her pain that led to her addiction, yet it doesn’t change the betrayal fact).
It is time for you to do right by yourself, to be on your side, to no longer hate yourself but to love yourself. It will not be easy because, like you wrote, “every time I find ways to feel better and be positive I regress back into negative thinking and no motivation”- this regression will happen again and again. Progress will be about functioning well in spite of not feeling motivated, in spite of feeling distressed, to keep going forward nonetheless.
I think you should move out of that apartment ASAP. Find your own place away from your family members. Be good to yourself in each and every way possible. Choose people carefully, people who will be attentive and kind to you, people you can trust to be and stay on your side.
How about a support group, something I mentioned to you before, or counseling?
anita
-
AuthorPosts