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My husbands family has destroyed my will to live

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  • #222871
    Carly
    Participant

    At first, my husbands family pretended to like me, but they always gave these little jabs at him, or only told stories that would make him look bad. It was a little weird, but it wasn’t anything to be crushed over. Shortly after our first six months of dating though, his sister took him out to lunch and started telling him hes making a mistake and how awful she thinks I am. It only got worse from there. His mom started cornering him and screaming at him, calling him in the middle of the night to ask whether he ever thinks Ill want to have sex with him, if he thinks he’ll be my hero, just extremely messed up things. They (his sister and mother) contacted anyone who might have a reason to dislike me, got extremely personal info about past mistakes that I was just recovering from, and even tried asking my boss how much I earn and if Im really a good employee. Im now married, but the thing is, I cant get away from them. They’ve told anyone who will listen endless lies and tales of how horrid I supposedly am, gone out of their way to create situations that make us look bad (pretending to have never been invited to the wedding, telling us to never show our faces again but then crying that we never come), and then when we confront them, they deny it all, playing dumb and innocently, saying they just love my husband and want him back, so on. We have extremely convicting evidence of all of this, showed it to them, and still they deflect, victimizing themselves and claiming they’ve “done nothing to hurt us” and that its ‘so cruel that we think they’d be so hateful.” Then of course they tell everyone how cruel we are for being so hateful and accusatory, and we get yelled at for breaking hearts. I never did anything to them, I dont understand why they have to do this. I’ve only spent time alone with his sister once, and nothing bad happened then. I barely even know these people and they never gave me a chance before doing all of this.

    I go to a small college in a small town. I cant get away until I graduate in a year. Everywhere I go I run into people who glare at me and dislike me, and I don’t even know all of them. We cant even go to our hairdresser anymore. I’ve come so close to just wanting to end it all so many times. I cant take this much longer but I know that if I make it to graduation I can move away and never see them again, I just don’t know if I have it in me to keep going. I cant even trust anyone anymore. Its like all of my faith in humanity was ripped away, and its just me and my husband now- but couldn’t he have it all back and stop suffering with me if I weren’t still alive?

    #222879
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Carly:

    Better you leave that town, ASAP. With or without your husband. Go to the college and put your studies on hold, get a record of your credits there for the purpose of transferring it to a future college, in another town far away, where you will conclude your studies.

    “if I weren’t still alive?” ending of your last paragraph indicates to me that my ASAP recommendation is called for.

    Better quit the college you attend and later switch to another than quit life altogether.

    Of course, what his parents have done and are doing to him and to you is not fair, but they are doing it anyway. And others believe them, and so, I figure there is nothing for you to do but leave and live where those people don’t live.

    anita

    #222881
    Michelle
    Participant

    I’m sure you love your husband but you also need to love yourself. I agree with Anita – you need to take action to protect yourself and your wellbeing now. Transfer credits are an option and you can attend school elsewhere. You need to get away from these people. I would also suggest shutting down all social media (if you have it). These people sound unhinged enough that harassment may continue online. You need to put up roadblocks so that they can’t.

    Do you have friends or family in another city?

    #222883
    Brandy
    Participant

    These people are snakes, Carly. What a painful situation for you. I agree with the others who’ve replied: remove yourself from this situation asap. You don’t deserve to be treated this way.

    #222907
    kitty
    Participant

    Dear Carly

    I so feel your pain.  I am in a much the same position only I have two daughters in law who have almost led to suicide over many years.  Both are narcissists who have broken my boys and turned them into so different people.  It’s a long story but to cut short my 4 grandchildren have all been used as pawns for many years.  I lost three of them for seven years because I wouldn’t conform to the craziness life first one used.  I was brought up in a very loving family of four sisters and one brother and have had a very happy Christian upbringing.  I grieved for my three grandchildren from when they were dragged away from my big close family, aged 12, 1o, 1.  They came back of their own free will seven years later, but all broken.  That was four years ago and have been trying to help each one.  But I am now 71 and it has taken it’s tole on me.  My second son married the very same type of person and have a five year old son who is totally controlled by the mother.  My son goes along with it as he saw his brother often have kids taken from him.  These women and their families have lost me my best friend of 38 years, so am grieving over this loss.  As I read your post tonight my eyes just filled up as I tried to get grandson for few hours tomorrow to see his cousins, but no once more.  I babysit during school times etc but can’t take him to play with cousins etc.  My heart is absolutely broken and feel like running away, but don’t know where and I would miss the children even though they are all broken.  Also I would miss my sisters and their families.  I was glad to know that I am not alone in this destructive crazy world.  I try to hang on by my faith, but getting so weary. If I were you I would agree with the others and move.  I know what these people do to you and you are young you can get a second chance at life.  Sending hugs to you. xx

     

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