Hi,

I’ve been seeing this guy for about 1.5 months now. In the beginning everything was amazing.
We hung out a lot and texted constantly. He would arrange to see me 4-5 times a week and always arrange the next date before the current date even ended. He expressed how into me he was (about how we really connect on a deep level, my personality, my life experiences, my outlook on life etc.) He told me he was looking for a relationship and we agreed to continue seeing each other 3-4 times a week going forward.

Recently, however he started texting less. He would go from constantly texting, being engaged, being playful to taking hours to respond or never reaching out. I was a bit insecure at this point and wasn’t sure if he had no interest in me anymore. I expressed to him that I didn’t want to waste my time or waste his if that was the case. When I asked him what changed he said that he was very busy moving into a new condo. He admitted that he had been distant lately but that he still liked me and wanted to see me again.  He knew it wasn’t fair to me but he would try to be better. That week he didn’t initiate any plans.

I was able to meet him last Friday to catch up and talk in person. He explained to me his moving situation a bit better and I was better able to understand his stress. (He was pulling 12 hours day to try and settle in, dealing with builders and his parents always breathing down his back). He explained that with his friends he only texts when he has something to say and when he feels like answering and with me specifically, it takes time for him to answer because he likes to think about how he wants to say things before he sends a response. Constantly being around his parents when they were helping him move also didn’t give him much privacy to craft responses. I took him for his word. That night he did ask to see me the following day which I took as a good sign.

I rearranged my schedule hoping to see him the following day, but he changed the plans saying he wouldn’t be available until night time. I was upset at the news and he sends me a text saying he doesn’t know how he feels about this whole situation anymore. He feels very overwhelmed with what is going on in his life. His priority right now is to settle it, then he has two interviews for a full time job and he’ll have to start teaching when school starts up again. He felt bad that he always had to cancel on me and let me down. He doesn’t think things will work out right now.

I wanted to know if he just had no feelings for me anymore and didn’t want to see me again but he said that wasn’t the case. I asked him if this was something we could work on. If he is just overwhelmed and busy for the foreseeable future, then I would be willing to wait/give him space and maybe things would resume once everything had calmed down. He said he would be interested in trying but that he wasn’t sure if seeing me a once or twice in the upcoming weeks would be enough to build something substantial off of. But he said he likes to take things slow anyways.
I told him that that would be ok with me as long as he was sure he still liked me and if he could be better at maintaining communication while we’re apart. He agreed. He also mentioned that he never felt like I was pressuring him or I was demanding and that if I ever felt frustrated with him or hurt to let him know and we could stop trying.

I don’t know what to take of all this. Did I pressure him to try something he didn’t want t to do and he agreed just to please me?
Have I ruined everything?
He hasn’t made any effort to contact me in the past 4 days since our conversation. I’m trying to stay positive because he does have two interviews this week.
Is he too afraid to tell me how he truly feels or am I just being insecure about the whole situation.

I really want to make this work. When we’re together everything is amazing, I saw potential and would really want a chance to explore this further with him.