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Ex boyfriend who has severe mental illness broke up with me

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  • This topic has 5 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by Anonymous.
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  • April 20, 2018 at 11:26 am #203377
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Eve:

    I don’t think you should reach out to him because you are doing better since the breakup: “I am doing better now and try to come to terms with it”,

    and because he communicated to you the following:

    – that he doesn’t want you involved in his recovery treatment

    -that his recovery might take a long time

    – that he still doesn’t want you involved in his recovery and he is still recovering (he didn’t reach out to you).

    Are you hoping to resume the relationship with him sometime in the future; did he mention to you that as a possibility?

    anita

    April 20, 2018 at 11:43 am #203381
    Eve
    Participant

    Hi, anita.

    I don’t know about future. But right now I don’t want to be in a relationship with him or anyone else yet. I would like to be single for a while at least for few months.

    I asked him so we are not going to see each other again? He said he didn’t say that. And I said that I am worry about you living in a solitary life. He said that I will let you know about the process.

    He also said that he didn’t want to give me false hope because the recovery might take a long time. And he was afraid that his condition would make him incapable of love for the rest of his life. His doctor told him if he only had one big source of stress, ie career, he could manage to succeed. But when it comes to relationship, it’s tricky. Because some people like him do end up alone due to the stress from marriage and family life.

    April 20, 2018 at 12:35 pm #203393
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Eve:

    I hope he heals from what he needs healing from. Anxiety takes a long, long time to heal. I have been actively engaged in the process of healing from anxiety (OCD has been one of my diagnoses), daily now for seven years and I am still in the  process. Not anxiety-free yet, not even close to being anxiety free.

    I hope you recover from your heartache and from your loss of partner and friend. There is much sadness in such loss, other feelings as well. Anytime you would like to express here your feelings, please do. I will be glad to reply if and when you post.

    * Will be back to the computer in about sixteen hours.

    Take good care of yourself, Eve.

    anita

    April 21, 2018 at 7:17 am #203443
    Eve
    Participant

    Anita

    Thanks for your kind words. Coincidentally, my ex just wrote me an e-mail telling me how he was. He is not doing great and still has a lot of OCD episodes.

    I am not anticipating a relationship with him right now but that doesn’t mean I stop caring about him. Should I write back to show my support?

    April 21, 2018 at 7:23 am #203449
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Eve:

    Yes, I think so. He reached out to you, giving you an update on his situation. So it is a good idea for you to acknowledge to him that you received his message, maybe thanking him for sending it to you and wishing him well. I would make it a short message.

    anita

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