Dear alyahB_:

At the end of your post, you asked: “what is it I need?”

At the beginning of your post you answered it: “a support system… close friend”, to not be “alone and confused”. We are social animals, we need other people. We need to communicate with others.

When I communicate with another person about things that are meaningful to me, as I express yourself to the other person, I am developing my thoughts as I speak (or type), getting in touch with my feelings and becoming more and more myself.

When confused, communicating this way takes away the confusion.

“Who do I seek out?” you asked. My answer: someone decent, someone honest and trustworthy so that the two of you will be honest with each other and worthy of each other’s trust.

anita

Dear alyahB_ , 

I understand you completely. I understand how it feels to literally be surrounded by thousands of new people everyday and still feel lonely. In my opinion it seems you just need someone to talk to. I think you should push yourself up and start school. Make friends who enjoy doing the same thing as you. If you cant seem to find that push start go somewhere an interior designer, writer, psychologist, model, etc., might go and somehow build up the courage to start a conversation with someone who looks intriguing to you . Engage in your surroundings. I once saw this quote that said “you are strongest when you are alone” . You’ve got this. I believe in you. and if that doesn’t seem to work, you could start focusing on yourself. Maybe you could rearrange a room in your home, write a book, buy a camera and start taking your own pictures, you said you like health/wellness so maybe you could do a 30 day yoga or fitness challenge. Learn a dance lol. anything that makes YOU HAPPY, pursue it with or without others in your life. Find what gives you energy and apply it graciously to those you encounter everyday. People will start to pick up on your energy and sooner or later someone who shares your same wavelength will come into your life and you’ll both spread your good vibes, together.

lol i hope that wasn’t too corny.

With much LOVE , cece.

Hey AlyahB

I understand that it’s hard to be social when your current feelings don’t allow you to.

You can try to start a conversation with a good question. Stupid example to make my point: You ask if he/she is a good cook (when you’re are not). People love it when someone is interested in their lives (I bet you know that 😉 ). Ask some things you want to know, and he/she will do the talking for you (in the beginning). It doens’t mather what you ask. Questions are the easiest way to get a conversation started or keep it going. That’s my experience and opinion.

Some people will ask questions about you when you’re talking to each other. If they do, they’re interested in who you are. And that’s the first step for friendship and feeling someone cares about you.

It’s just an idea, tell me what you think of that if you want, perhaps I can give some other idea’s if you don’t think that would help.