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He left me out of the blue

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  • #197267
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Phoebe:

    If you haven’t done it already, can you ask him (email or in person) to tell you more about his state of mind, ask him when did this state of mind start: before meeting you, during?

    Ask him gently, so to get the information you need. Let him know that you need to know so that you can be in a better state of mind.

    anita

    #197393
    Misty
    Participant

    Hey Phoebe,

    I’m really sorry that happened. It sounds like you were happy and getting your needs met and you deserve all those good things in life.

    It sounds like it’s more about him than you, and there’s not necessarily much you can do about that except for take care of yourself and then you’ll be in a more stable state to help him should he want that and should you be willing a little later on (or even now).

    Self-care is golden, sis, and I would highly highly recommend saying positive daily affirmations to yourself on whatever you want to be more like – whether it’s inner peace, confidence, or whatever. Also highly recommend social justice activism, meditation and yoga daily, spending time with animals and going outside.

    In my experience dating, I went through a lot of people who didn’t work out for one reason or anther, and it was heartbreaking. Often I thought they could even be the one. I learned to try to practice acceptance pretty hard because so many people weren’t working out and I kept meeting great ones and going through them and getting my heart broken.

    But now I have the most amazing partner and I know all that was worth it. I learned worrying doesn’t help and sometimes people just aren’t a good fit at that time for whatever reason and there might be someone a million times better for you right around the corner.

    Also I swear – when I decided internally that I was gonna make sure I was good with myself first and foremost and accepted that I might never find my person, he messaged me that very same week. Funny huh?

     

    Maybe these aren’t what you’re Looking for but I hope it’s helpful and sometimes it’s just nice to know you’re not alone and hat people care – like the People here!

    Love!

    Misty

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