Dear niklo:

Good to read from you again. You don’t read to me like a terrible person at all and your thinking reads reasonable to me. If I was in your place, I too will not go back to the man you were with in a limbo-relationship for six years. I think that if he feels hurt by the fact that you are doing the right thing… it is a consequence of his own choice, a choice he practiced persistently for six years, again and again, to not move his relationship forward.

anita

Dear anjum niklo:

You are welcome.

I assume his problem was like you stated a genuine problem. His mother was probably very difficult. Thing is we people are not 100% automatic reactions to other people. His mother has a lot of power over him by nature of him being born to her, by nature of her role in his life. But not all the power.

There was plenty of time within the long six years he was in a relationship with you, for him to gather the courage to stand up for you and for the relationship with you.

It is the consequence of his consistent, long term choice- however difficult it would have been to make- that he may suffer.

It is not your job to protect people from the natural and understandable consequences of their actions, or lack of action.

As you choose and continue to choose to do what is right, there will be more people who will be displeased. There is simply no escaping this reality.

anita

Dear anjum niklo:

I agree and do hope that you allow yourself to be happy, and not let this (or any other) unjustified guilt ruin your good feelings. There is no valid reason for your guilt and there is nothing you need to correct, therefore. Anytime you feel guilty, ask yourself, is there a valid reason for that guilt. If your answer is No, then let it go.

You are welcome and I hope that you do return here anytime you would like.

anita