Dear Nick:

It is sad to think of a little boy, the boy that you were, looking up to your father (and you did look up to him long ago as young boys naturally do), and getting as disappointed as you did. Being hurt by the very person one is looking up to is very painful. It is a betrayal, probably the first and most painful betrayal in a person’s life.

I understand your anger, its intensity is proportional to that betrayal, to that disappointment, to that gap between how much you needed from him and what he gave you, negative messages, discouragement.

Regarding your situation, I suppose you are living at home, with your father at nineteen, very young. I would have the goal in mind, if I was you, to live independently from your father as soon as you can, live elsewhere and have little or no contact with him, whatever it takes to no longer be on the receiving end of his messages.

If he will pay for your driving lessons, let him, or for a car, let him pay, why not?

anita