Hello,

TL;DR below

I’ve never posted here before but a lot of my Google searches lead me here. 🙂

So I think I kind of already know the answer to my issues, but it helps to get a second opinion.

Here’s the sitch:

I used to be friends with (we’ll call her) E. We met at our community college and stayed in touch after graduating- it was more one sided though. You know when you like someone alright, but some of their behavior makes you uncomfortable? I wasn’t going to turn down having a new friend but…something was just “off” with the vibes I got around her. It was like I was a pawn in her game kind of thing.

I found a job immediately after school which I was absolutely thrilled about. She was having a harder time finding work. E text me and said she applied at my work. I rolled my eyes, but when my boss asked if I knew her all I said was “yeah we were in the same class” and “She’s alright” with a shrug. She got the job.

I had a performance review after 6 months. At the review my boss said he intends for me to take over for my supervisor when he moved to a new department. Great!

Meanwhile, I had a hard time getting E to pull her weight in our department. She’d make excuses that made no sense, would brag about making $1 more an hour than me (I eventually got a raise). She would only do one task halfway and then go to lunch early after arriving 30 mins late. I complained to my boss. He did nothing.

A month later, E was given my promotion and took over the department. I was shocked I am already prone to depression (I see a therapist and have a Rx) But I honestly ended up in the worst depression of my life after this. I would stay home ing bed all weekend and just ugly cry. I still can’t understand the decision. My boss said it had to do with the fact that E had more schooling than me – she had another degree that has literally no bearing on our work.

E started making rude comments about my appearance, my interests and pretty much anything else she could. But, she would completely deny saying them when confronted by my boss.

(Examples:

• “my mom is 300 lbs and not very bright … you remind me of her”
• “You’re really wearing that?”
• “Do you even know how to do your makeup?” (Answer: nope)
• In response to talking about I movie I liked “Are you 5? Why are you watching kids movies? ” (it was one of The Hunger Games movies)
• “You’re like the little sister I never wanted HAHAHA”
• Often, when talking she would stare at me … aggressively? Then say “UHHUH THATS NICE”

There’s more but it’s making me angry to type these out. When I told my boss about this she pulled a Trump and says “I never said that” and it becomes a she-said-she-said. My boss usually doesn’t do anything and she’s not reprimanded or anything. To make matters worse, she would lie about her mistakes in her work, and say it was me and I don’t think she’s ever taken responsibility for a single thing. A few months ago, she asked if I wanted to go to her weird goth bar she hangs out at (so she doesn’t “have” to go alone) I told her “honestly I’d rather not socialize outside of work” her attitude towards me got worse after this and she now goes out of her way to make sure I get in trouble for everything.

TL;DR-  coworker is toxic and mean. No one else sees what I do, and I feel like I’m being gaslighted into insanity. I have depression and anxiety that is compounded by the situation. I dont feel like i can quit as my job is semi niche and I am being paid well for my work. Plus i dont really have savings.

So … now I’m here. I think the answer is to take responsibility for my own happiness and find things outside of work that make me happy. But I don’t know how. I only have a few friends in this state, and I don’t really have hobbies. I feel like the best thing that could possibly happen is her not being in my life anymore. I want that more than air.

I don’t know what to do.

🙁