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What to do?

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • December 27, 2017 at 5:18 pm #183979
    Ryn
    Participant

    Hi all,

    So I was dumped about a month ago by my boyfriend of a year and a half. The breakup was out of nowhere, I was completely blindsided. We never fought and had a very loving relationship. The week before the break up he was with me and speaking of how he wanted us to get married one day…5 days later he left me, claiming that he needed to find God and find himself. He keeps saying that we just need time, but he thinks we can work it out eventually. I believe him, but I am not sure if I should hold on to this. I keep reminding myself that everything is impermanent and that I should not be mad at him because he is doing a good thing. We have spoken a few times since the break up and I always respond with compassion, but I just am unsure of how long to hold on to what is left of our “relationship”. IF we do get back together, I fear I won’t be able to trust him the way I used to because he left me so suddenly. Help!

    December 28, 2017 at 6:48 am #184083
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Ryn:

    You wrote that “everything is impermanent”- true, everything tangible is impermanent, and our feelings are impermanent, they keep changing, not staying the same. But there are some things that are permanent, things that can be permanent, such as trust in another person, trust established and practiced daily.

    Trust in a relationship is like the ground you stand on. Without it you easily fall- isn’t that the reason you ask for “Help!”- because you are not standing on solid/ permanent ground in this “relationship” (the quotation marks you used)?

    anita

    December 28, 2017 at 7:09 am #184089
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Ryn,

    Because he left you so suddenly, things do not look promising. I think if I were in this situation, I would be very hurt, especially if one day they are talking about a future with me, and a few days later they just disappear “needing to find themselves”. It is very hard, to regain trust, for fear It may happen again. He sounds a little lost and confused, and not really ready for a committed relationship.

    December 29, 2017 at 8:54 am #184337
    Ryn
    Participant

    Thanks guys! I agree completely.

    December 29, 2017 at 9:15 am #184345
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, Ryn.

    anita

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