Hi

I am mother of two kids  and working women, I am some what introvert person, I have a best friends and friends.

This incident happened to me an year ago, I had a close friend at work since six years or little longer, initially  she was one of the good friends.  we both carried our journey of moving on to same location/place for twice as coincidence,

As years passed i became very attached to her and felt she had the same feeling, we used to share lot of stuff about colleagues,  personal life.

She used to tell me about many at work , home and gossip at work. Though we worked together in same team for long,  I never used to get such a insider perspective about anyone , as she used to get, I felt she was educating me and she was intelligent. I used to keep all the communication and relation with anyone at work strictly to work place and never built any network.

Once it happened that when we moved to different team, I was first one to move and she moved later than me, That year I was expecting an appraisal and all in blues she got it, I felt sad initially but felt she deserves it but when I spoke to my supervisor for  what should i improve on he told me that I do not approach people for solutions more on team work etc then i struggle myself until i get clarity and because of this i lose time. This is something that reflects my personality.

As years passed i moved to another location and in little while she moved too in span of six months, Our friendship continued, Me and my husband tried setting her new house in this country, I wanted to treat her as family friend and made more family visits.  that point of time I had one son and I got pregnant with my second. after while when i got pregnant  I slowly observed a difference, All in blues she stopped talking to me since then, How many times I call her for coffee, She rejects, She avoids any contact with me, I tried asking her couple of time if there was reason that she is hurt of, She barely told me any but one point she told me that she hates people being very self centered and I am , Reason being I tried telling her that I feel very bad about our relation and it is hurting me more than anything, She said I am thinking about myself and not her, again she called back saying it was gap misunderstanding and talked for while, again after little while she went back to same. she would avoid, but talk as a colleague in meetings etc ,

For sometime she did not even reply to work emails and little later when she needed help she pinged me at work and since then we speak as colleagues when we see each other, She wouldn’t attend to any of my family events .She does not have kids,

My son used to like the couple and i felt they reciprocated too,  One day  my son told me he miss them. I did tell him that they were out of town but I could not help but cry.

She makes friends with others at work, I have a same circle too, We both behave as two disjoint entities, I am not sure what I can do in this situation, How to console myself, I feel extremely bad when we constantly come in touch. sometime I feel my lack of social life which I barely had after kids, Lack of success( I am playing neutral at work and having no major success but not bad to sustain my family because of my commitments. I am steady) makes me a bad friend.

Lately I do not have good friends too, My husband has no social life almost big zero and I am unable to give time or make new friends, My elder kid also spends most of free time at home, We dont go out much,  My younger kid is still an infant. I tried speaking about this to my husband He says i am overacting  and should take it easy as it does not care about me any longer.

I am troubled with two things , one is why did i invite such an experience, How to get peace and stop reacting inward due to my friend. This  experience really hurts, infact i cannot run way but live with it, I cannot change my job sooner  because obligations. How do I make new friends, I am doubting myself I lost confidence.

Please help