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Negative feelings in new job

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  • #181525
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear pomorodini:

    You asked if you should start looking for another job.

    Are there any disadvantages for you to be looking for another job (one that you hopefully will not be  miserable doing)?

    anita

    #181557
    Peter
    Participant

    When you’re in transition, you will need to find a different kind of security. It’s not one of labels, guarantees or bank balances. It’s guidance – the directions of your own inner voice. Moment by moment you know what to do. You are safer than ever before. Tama J. Kieves

    From reading your post it sounds like you know what you want to do the only question is if you will follow. That does not necessary mean having to immediately jumping without a net,,, though the time will come when a jump will be required. It took me years to prepare the way for my career change, but that is my personality I need a idea or vision to work towards and most of the time my vision wasn’t clear so I took one step at a time.

    You can’t force yourself to say “yes” to a bigger life. You will do it in your way. You will do it when smallness hurts too much. Tama J. Kieves

    I found the following book helpful. ‘This Time I Dance!: Creating the Work You Love’ by Tama Kieves

    We all look for what will make us happy in life, but we don’t always make the choices that we should when it comes to sustaining that happiness. Tama Kieves shows how to do just that: how to stay happy and employed doing something you love, and what it takes to stop being a stressed-out worker and make peace with your career-and, most important, with yourself. Filled with solutions to the anxieties and roadblocks you may confront on your path, This Time I Dance! is for all those who are unfulfilled at work and uncertain of the practical steps that they should follow to achieve their dreams.

    #181703
    pomodorini
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you for your response. I cannot think of any disadvantages at the moment for looking for another job but I am feeling like there’s a lot of self-doubt, like is it normal to feel this way, what if I do something else and it’s the same, how could I let the same things happen again, is leaving the right thing to do, shouldn’t i try harder?

    And I find it difficult to manage my emotions throughout the day sometimes, like when the negativity starts setting in, it makes it difficult to get through the day even though i tell myself it’s ok and i will get through it etc.

    pomodorini

    #181705
    pomodorini
    Participant

    Dear Peter,

    Thanks for your quotes!

    pomodorni

    #181717
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear pmodorini”

    In your original post you wrote twice that you blame yourself for experiencing what you are experiencing in your current job. This self blaming is greatly adding to your distress. This part of your distress can be reduced and eliminated.

    When we make choices in life, career wise and otherwise, we have to consider the fit between it and us. You wrote in your original post: “I have been unemployed for a while, I told myself that I have to give it a shot”- this was a thought, what you thought you should do and why. The thought didn’t last long. Then came the experience, working with numbers, something you already experienced as undesirable for you. The experience itself has lasted much longer than the thought I quoted.

    There is much more value to the experience therefore than to the thought. We have a lot to learn from experiencing. So the job doesn’t fit you, who you are. So, yes, look for another job, working with people, school counseling or the like.

    No human is …. super human, able to function well in any job, in any life circumstance. We have to pick and choose thoughtfully from what is available, experience and evaluate our experience.

    If you would like to elaborate on the self doubt and blaming you mentioned, please do. I will then reply further.

    anita

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