Hello there!!!

I saw your post and I had to make an account. I cannot fully respond atm.. but!!! I need you to know YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel the same way. I’ve spent my life doing for others and in return have been outcasted, attacked, hated, the list goes on. It feels like I could give these people my life and that still wouldn’t be enough. That is insanity! On my part and theirs. I am giving my energy to the wrong people, a life long battle. I have to remember I MATTER. As DO YOU!!!! You deserve to know happiness!! And so much more!!

~Consider the source~ is one I’ve been working on. Sociopaths are no joke. I think you have been through traumatic events, I am not sure…  I was taught to look at myself in situations, and when I kept being the common denominator, I questioned everything. I still do at times. I have to remember, for example, a family member is harassing me, vicious stuff, which is beyond painful, but shows me how much pain and angst she must be in. I won’t get to personal, but this person is not a ~source~ I should put ANY stock into about myself. I hope this makes some sense.

Reciprocity is another important concept with people I am trying to work on as well, I am always the giver. Then I get bashed on!? It’s a very confusing thing! I love to love and to give, but if it is a purely one sided relationship, I am not interested anymore. The mess I have to clean up after being used is far to painful and can be avoided sometimes. Simply, it is unhealthy.

Growing up that way, I relate. We have to teach and allow ourselves happiness and the like. It’s a journey. A beautiful mess. I am no pro, but for now, you could try acknowledging your emotions without judgement. I try so much to stay out of my own head!!! It is wild!! Music is huge for me. Whether I need something angry and empowering or something funky. Writing, stretching, all the things I’m sure you have heard before lol.

I’m out here on my own as well. I feel lonely and hated. But I am trying so very hard to remember who I am, not allow anyone else to tell me who I am or define me, fight my demons to make room for positive things, and keep up with my physical health as well.

I know how easy it is to say these things…. To do them…. That is another thing entirely. Baby steps. It’s ok to be a turtle!!! lol (it’s ok to move at your own pace)

My main point is I feel you, I relate. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! THERE IS HOPE!!!!

sending you much peace, love, comfort and healing vibes!!! Hope to talk again!

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