Dear Rica:

Welcome back, good to read from you again.

On Tuesday he told you that he doesn’t think that you are ready for a relationship. On Wednesday he told you that he is not ready for a relationship. This leads me to think that he is not honest. Also, calling you so late Monday telling you he was probably ill reads like a lie to me.

Reads to me that over the weekend he changed his mind about going on a trip with you Monday but felt uncomfortable to let you know, so he postponed it until Monday and then chose the more convenient form of Facebook to.. lie.

A month and a half of dating a man is a short time but long enough, I am thinking, to find out that you can’t count on this man to be honest. And so, he is not a good candidate to be your future husband and father of your future children even if he does change his mind and contacts you.

I do hope you recover from your disappointment. It is difficult to have hope and then see it gone. But your hope for a loving relationship and future family doesn’t need to be gone.

An honest and loving man will make all the difference. Take more time to get to know a man, to get to know an honest man so that you can trust what he tells you to be true.

anita

Dear Rica:

The mutual friend is not qualified to speak for him. To the mutual friend it seems like he is in love with you, it doesn’t mean that he is, and it doesn’t mean anything at all. What means a whole lot is his behavior and what he says to you, personally.

He didn’t speak to you about what happened but to your mutual friend- why not to you personally?

anita

Dear Rica:

People are not born dishonest. So I understand that he had a troubled childhood. But if he is now in the habit of not sharing the truth, of lying instead, of not being direct (leaving you a cancellation post on Facebook instead of talking to you on the phone and talking to a mutual friend instead of with you), then how can you possibly have an honest, healthy relationship with him…

You wrote: “Or he didn’t feel the same”- regardless of how he feels, if he is not honest with you, there is nowhere to go from here.

anita

Dear Rica:

It  would have  been good for you to know what  happened during the weekend, and  you would have  known if he told you, and if he told you the truth.

If he told you what happened, and if he  told  you the truth, you would be guessing as to might have  happened. I wrote it  would  have been good  for you because it is better to know than it  is  to  guess.

anita