Hi Alice,

It looks like the major source of unhappiness is your job, and confidence about interviews. I am thinking about maybe looking into a job coach? I did this, when I was uncertain what to do in the job I was in, what I wanted to do, the motivation to send out resumes, etc. Sometimes a mentor or life/ job coach can give us the assurance we need and coping skills. I feel with a better job, where you are able to interact with people things would look much better for you. Even if it’s just temporary work, or volunteer work at first, it would give you a boost, as to where you have a better more positive work environment.

Also you mentioned buying a home, enjoying fixing it up, being creative, design and taking classes on weekends. Have you thought about a future in interior design?

Alice,

I too was in a similar situation, suffered from depression and anxiety for a long time. I worked in a career as a social worker and burned myself out. I tried a bunch of career hats on but still felt unfulfilled. But now I have found my calling.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself to get you started:

What’s an impossible future you would like to create?

If you woke up tomorrow and nothing was a barrier what would be the first thing you would do?

If you could spend your life doing something without getting paid for it what would it be?

What kind of game plan can I create to leave this job that makes me miserable?

In regards to a community:

Who are the people that I need in my life right now? What are their characteristics?

Where can I find them?

What hobbies and interests do I have that I could share with others whom I don’t know? There are travel groups, arts and crafts groups, etc.

Confidence

The increase of confidence proceeds after an action. Confidence doesn’t come before. It’s something you practice by doing something over time. What are some things I can do to begin building my confidence? What can I start small then build over time?

Anxiety

What are the things that I do to manage my anxiety?

When does my anxiety show itself?

When does it not show itself and how can I create more of those moments to lessen my anxiety?

Journaling is a great activity for anxiety and coloring.

What you’re feeling is quite normal. We all go through it at some point. We wonder about our lives, does it have meaning and as we grow and develop we look around our lives and wonder about the people in it. Do they match up with our values, interests, etc.

It’s okay to feel stuck. I actually wrote an article about this. The gifts of being stuck. It’s a signal. You’ll be surprised the number of people that feel stuck but don’t analyze it the way you just did. That’s incredible. It just means something needs to change, and it’s time you to focus on what needs to change. Because it’ll continue in this loop, and time will have fast forward, and regret is a terrible feeling.

I commend you for reaching out. It takes vulnerability and courage. A job coach is a great idea, however, you’ll also want to consider someone who can explore your limiting beliefs. It’s exploring where this scarcity mindset comes from and evaluating your self-worth. Because it sounds like you have tremendous talents and gifts (to share with this world) not everyone can has, there’s no need to sell yourself, all you have to do is be you. I hope this has been helpful to you.