Dear Megan:

Last December you shared this about your mother in regard to your eating disorder:  “(she) made shameful comments towards me. For example, she noticed I had eaten a lot of food and asked ‘did you enjoy your binge?’ She also caught me purging in my bedroom once and said ‘you can do whatever you want when you leave the house. No more puking.’…  She also once said, ‘all you’ve been doing is eating all day,’with no constructive comments to make afterwards, leaving me to feel immense amounts of shame about my eating disorders”

You are now considering having a weekly conversation with her or moving back in with her so to help yourself heal and recover from your bulimia. Has there  been healing of your relationship with your mother since December? Does she no longer trigger shame in you?

anita

Dear Megan:

Notice that although your mother said those things to you nine years ago, when you were sixteen, it is only nine months ago that those comments were still distressing you. If these comments are no longer distressing you, that means that the change happened in the last nine months.

I hope you do recover from bulimia soon enough, make progress every day. Healing and recovery from EDs are possible with the help of support groups, individual and group psychotherapy that are perhaps available to you.

anita