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Still Completely in Love with My Ex

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  • September 25, 2017 at 7:09 am #170101
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Sadpeach,

    I think if two people love each other and are in love they will move heaven and earth to make it work, even long distance. You both can video chat and see each other. It might not be the same as in person, but distance wise, you really are not far away from him. You both can see each other even if it’s one weekend a month. A long distance relationship does not spell “doomed” or “this way forever” this can only be temporary. I’m the future, you both can be together again.

    Just because he is on Instagram, does not mean he is dating these girls. They may just be pen-pals. Many of these women are from different countries or States. I think if he is keeping contact with you, going to therapy, and trying to better himself, maybe a possible getting back together? Your thoughts?

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 6 months ago by Eliana.
    September 25, 2017 at 10:53 am #170201
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear sadpeach:

    You told him that you are all-or-nothing in regard to the relationship with him, all or nothing, but you found yourself repeatedly in the middle of what you need and desire, so you lost hope that you can get what you need and be stuck in the middle, correct?

    I hope therapy will help him with his struggles, which read significant, and so, it will take time and work if he persists. Maybe you can attend therapy as well, to get clarity and resolution regarding this on-again-off-again, unclear (and so, distressing) relationship.

    anita

    September 25, 2017 at 1:59 pm #170251
    sadpeach
    Participant

    Eliana,

    I agree. The issue is that he is so fearful of abandonment (he has childhood issues regarding this) and commitment, intimacy, etc. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink it! I know I deserve more than to have to convince someone to be with me. But I just feel like we’re so close, why not try?

     

    Anita, you’re so right. I say it’s all or nothing and then I keep faltering on my word. I think it’s because I went so long rejecting his connections for almost a year, that these past few months left me without much will-power. After his most recent visit, I actually had no plans on re-blocking him, but our mutual best friend (my male best friend and his good friend as well) suggested I do it to really give him a message. I kind of regretted it because I had done it before and clearly gone back on my word, so it felt a little hasty and dramatic. But once I did it, I felt even sillier un-doing it. So I just left him blocked.

     

    I guess time will only tell with how this goes.

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