Dear Steven B:

She works at a wine bar and as a couple psychotherapist? And is the mother of two children, four year old and a six year old, approximately? And she dates multiple guys?

The fact that she is a certified psychotherapist, if she is, means that she passed the tests and filled the requirements in a particular institution and with her state. It does not mean that she is mentally healthy; it does not mean that her behavior makes sense or is functional. Plenty of certified psychotherapists are dysfunctional in their own lives. Many are not effective in their treatment of clients.

You wrote that you helped her financially, $10,000 total. This is a significant ingredient in the relationship, maybe in her motivation to be in it.

Probably a good idea for you to move on. I see no point in not moving on, at least intending to move on.

anita

I am just gonna say this in the briefest way possible for me Steven : Get out of this ASAP

This does not look good from any angle. Yes, all those feelings of love that were(or are) there due to all the moments that happened (in the past) between you too makes it extremely difficult, but just leave this thing. It will be hard (as you already are experiencing) but trust me, once you start taking steps, slowly you’ll realize it was the better choice. Moving on is the hardest part and it is scary but there is one more thing which even more painful and scary and that is REGRET. Don’t waste your time on this relationship anymore, learn from it and move on. If you do decide to move on I suggest you go a for a no-contact period for some time.  However keep your emotions aside when deciding and be a bit more objective and see what kind of behaviors she is displaying instead of what she is saying. Actions tell everything. Don’t go by words alone…just don’t.