[Sept 15, 2017]

Gyunnie,

Today – I sat at our favourite red sofa in International Building. I visited your old classroom here but I think they changed the teacher because Dara wasn’t the teacher anymore. Some things have changed since last semester – not a lot but they still changed. I stare at that direction that you usually came from but you never came today, no matter how long I waited for you.

I also went to your Business building today! I finally took up the courage to went to a special place that will always remind me of you. It was empty maybe because it is Friday? Anyways … it is still very hot in Seoul. I cannot stand the heat these days. I remember how you also hated the hot weather and always complained when I used you as the sun shield haha.

Is it cold there, yet? Wear warm clothes and eat well. Do not drink too much and lose your coat like the last time. Our university seems very big and lonely without you. I miss you, very much.

I am very sleepy and tired right now because the seniors were forcing me go drink with them yesterday. It wasn’t as bad though. I drank for the first time again yesterday ever since the break up and I also met a really nice professor in my major, he was legit so drunk and we talked about Politics for hours.

I hope whenever you are and wherever you are, you are happy. Do not be too sad about anything, or too focus on your studies next year – you will be an amazing student. I am going to sleep now …. good night, Gyun-ah.

-Mina

[Sept 18, 2017]

Gyunnie,

Today wasn’t a very good day for me.

Do you remember that Vietnamese guy that you always get jealous of because I asked him to translate some Korean class homework for me?

I am really close with him now as friends. But I do not like him. I am very sad when he minimise my pain and my depression. He does not even know you but he talks as If he was the one in the relationship. He apparently had a crush on a Korean guy but the guy does not like him back.

Secretly – I am very happy. I know that it sounds so bad 🙁 but I feel like I have to listen to his story all the time, the truth is – I do not care about him. All I can think about is .. you. Are you doing well? I hope so.

I will not be going to our university event next week. I am too sad to even go out these days. I dragged my body today to go to university because I need to live my life. Even when I do not want to.

On the good side, today I met Glenn (my old academic english prof) and he was so nice to me. I am so happy to met him. You weren’t wrong when you told me that he was a very nice teacher! He gave me an A plus on his class last semester – one of the happiest moment in my life while in Korea, I gotta say.

Lastly, because I missed you so so so much – I sat in our old bench near the 273 bus stop. Do you remember? I sat and then force myself to stand up and walk to my house again because I know that is what you want me to do. The weather here is still very hot. I wish Fall will come sooner, I want to wear my favourite pink coat.

I miss you. I will talk to you again … very soon. Wear a lot of warm clothes, eat well, and do not drink too much. Tell Jong Min that I said hi! and tell him that I am also very sorry for not keeping my promise to take care of you. Take care, Gyunnie. Be well to your mother and father – do not be very sad.

-Mina xxxxxxxx

[Sept 19, 2017]

Gyunnie,

Today, it was raining very hard in Seoul. I think it might be the last rain of the season before Fall weather starts to kick in.

Are you doing well? Are you eating well there? I hope so 🙂

Suddenly during the lesson today, I remember how you used to do my Korean homework. I got a perfect score on that and you said that I do not have to thank you at all.

By the way – the AC in Political building was broken. It was so freaking hot!! Everyone was saying how they want to move to Business school. I cannot help but feel a sting of pain, I do not think anyone mentioning Business school will be just another word or major to me. It will always be a reminder that you were here.

I promise now that every time someone mention Business school, I would think you came to “visit” me that day.

I miss those moments. I miss you, everyday.

Your ex girlfriend,

-Mina

P.s : That vietnamese guy was totally rejected by his crush. I do not know why I feel happy about it inside. Am I a bad person, Gyun-ah?

[Sept 21, 2017]

Gyunnie,

It is another good day for me.

I wonder how you are these days? Are you eating and sleeping well?

I am very busy with assignments these days, my classes aren’t giving me any break. I am a bit overwhelmed but I feel happy.

I want to talk to you or hug just one more time tonight. How perfect it would be if you are here.

I finally reached out Patrice today. You remember her, right? The one that used to have a stalker haha.

I talked to her after a while, it felt nice. I found a Singaporean friend as well, God listened to my prayers after all.

Every single time that I talk or think about you, I can think of so many memories. I miss you.

You have always been private and you do not let people to get close to you easily … but I wish that you would update your Facebook or anything really – to tell me that you are fine.

One day, I believe – that we will talk again.

Not now, Gyunnie. But someday maybe soon enough – we will talk again.

I cannot help but think about if there is any chance of us getting back once you have finished your military service. Of us building a family together.

Maybe we are never meant to be, and it was our fate to have a short and meaningful relationship to teach other about important life lessons. It was ending for us, but it was not the ending of Mina. or Gyunnie.

Maybe we will love again, maybe we will meet other people as well. But right now, all I know is how much I love you. How much I care and treasure you.

Fall is finally here. My favourite weather 🙂

I changed quite a lot this semester … will you still be able to recognise me? Do not worry though, I did not dye my hair platinum like I have always wanted to, but you would be surprised to see how relax I am these days.

I am praying that in our next life, the waiting shall be short and the meeting shall be long. So we can say I love you when we feel it and say how much we care about each other without any distress or any concern about college or military service. I am praying to God everyday – to let us meet each other like that.

Be healthy, Gyunnie.

-Mina

[Sept 22, 2017]

Gyunnie,

It is another beautiful day for me.

I feel like life does go on without you. I know that you must be proud of me for living my life again.

I want to share my favourite lyrics / song from Nell, I think you must know this one :

“I lived within your time.

In the shape of strangers passing by on the streets, in the desolate dance of the fall leaves playing in the wind,

even in the cold evening air that grazes my cheek. You are in everything that I see, hear, and feel

How about you? Do you feel the same?”

Such a beautiful song that describes my current situation, right?

I would have to pull another all nighter today – to finish my Korean reading. I hate assignments, I remember how stayed up until 6am to finish yours as well.

I am listening to this song and I keep thinking about you, tonight. It is 3am already.

I want to end it all, I want it over.

-Mina

Anita,

Those words are taken out of a song. I just feel like at some point in my life, I relate to that very song.

-Mina