Hello Eliana and Anita

Thank you very much for your feedback, I agree with karma. It’s interesting to see how the tables turn. I wonder if it would ever happen to us.

I am experiencing PMS now and it’s really messing my mind up. Thoughts, emotions, and feelings are all over my head. They lead me to the hope of getting back together with my ex, they remind me of good times we once had, and they also lead me to doubts, desperation,  depression and anger.

Fortunately, I can start seeing things better than I used to. One of the reasons why I wasn’t happy with my ex was the fact that he criticized a lot. I never heard him giving compliments to anyone but me and himself. He would constantly talk about how disgusting the food was when we ate out,  how people tried to take advantage of him, how people created drama for him, how fake and talkative people were when all they did was being nice/polite to him, how bitchy his exs were, how good he was but never got appreciated, etc.

He didn’t seem to trust anyone. I don’t think he’s a happy person and am feeling kinda sad for him just by thinking about this. Sometimes my friends would invite me and him to different occasions, he would either go with me and have a lot of complaints afterwards, or name all kinds of reasons (usually negative) to talk me into changing my mind to cancel the plan in the last minute.

I believe his still has kindness and a good heart, but somehow they are buried too deep. It feels like there’s a tough shield all around a kind and playful little boy. He was so difficult to reach, because I could tell how he escaped from it when the conversation got too deep. I loved him a lot but never really tried to help him because I myself was also afraid of getting hurt by his rejections. And that’s my regret – not being able to help the person I loved.

I miss him so much and really hope that he finds his own peace within and gets to trust people again.

For some reason I do not want to lose the line of communication with my ex.

His birthday is around the corner and I am thinking about emailing him happy birthday.

I consulted some of my friends already and they all suggested that I save myself some diginity and just walk away, which is understandable. Wishing him happy birthday is more like telling him I still care about him. I do still care about him and just want to be nice to him. However, since we are broken up and I, to be honest, still hold the unrealistic hope of getting back to him, sticking to NC is probably better in the long run?

Not sure what to do… I just miss him a lot I guess..

It’s been three months since we broke up. Almost 20 days into NC.

Its getting easier and harder. Easier because I am calmer and started being seeing things with my logical head which gives me the answer to what went wrong in our relationship. Harder because the idea of US is getting further and further behind each day.

I know everything: time heals, I will grow, and we probably will find love with someone else again. But I hate the fact that we are not together anymore and that I still love you so much after knowing we are not compatible. I miss you so much that it hurts me just to think of you. I still wake up in the middle of night crying over the loss of you. Every thing still reminds me of you. I wish so much you could come back and work on things with me again. I thought we’d always love each other.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 1 month ago by Connie.

I have made NC into week 3. Neither of us has attempted to reach out.

Sometimes I miss him terribly, thinking what it would be like if he talked to me again. Sometimes I acknowledge  myself for being so brave and strong and truly realize it was an unhealthy relationship which I shouldn’t have settled myself in. Other times I wonder if he has already moved on, perhaps he’s already dating again? Does he ever miss me?

The breakup crashed me completely, but I have learned to know myself better and the pain actually has strengthened me in so many aspects. I learned to forgive myself and let go of things which used to push me to the edge of breakdown.

I believe everything happens for a reason. His existence in my life is to help mature myself. I am great full to ever have him in my life.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 1 month ago by Connie.

I had a dream yesterday:

He finally texted me and said he found his true love. He also sent me pictures of him and his new girlfriend. I was peaceful in the beginning, but he kept telling me things until I finally had enough!

Then i woke up and realized it was just a dream. Ironically, I closed my eyes trying to fall asleep and keep dreaming because I missed talking to him, even though the conversation was so unpleasant.

I still miss him a lot everyday. I don’t know what the dream means. Maybe I still can’t let go completely?