Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Society, Work, Lil Sister.
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September 1, 2017 at 8:32 am #166516SamParticipant
Hi to those who are reading this and sorry for my bad grammar. So I’m a girl, I’m 19 and sam’s my nickname because it’s simple and cool. Let’s get this started. First of all, as I started to grow up, from 13 to 19 (now) I feel like I’ve faced challenges which got me to kill myself. After everything I’ve been thinking. Since I don’t have anyone to tell to but here I am. Sharing with strangers. My problem is, I can’t let go of pasts. School, when I was 13, even the first day of school, (studied in a girls school) everyone is just so mean to me and I’m like a really really innocent person I really don’t know any sh*ts goin on. As I can see a lot of em really jealous of me. Idk how I can suffer for so many years. I’m not a clever person. I get Low grades in exams and… yea. People cheated on me for money, take me for granted… a lot. I did tell my parents but anything just won’t help. Just,…. idk how to express everything I’ve been thru but yea. I’m living in Malaysia. Since I got my first phone, I have social medias, and to be honest I’m pretty good looking. I always post my selfies on fb and stuff and I got a bunch of online friends, mostly guys. Like, what makes me hate guys is theyre pervert, selfish, always pick an argue, betray, think negatively when you don’t accept their love. Ahh I just don’t know how to say this. If I can talk it’ll be better lol… Malay guys are the worst. Almost Everyday when I walk across the road or anywhere, people would catcall me and whistle. I hate it. Especially MALAYS. Uhh… I’ve been thru so much shits. I hate Malaysia. hate society so much. And Sister. My Sister is 10yrs old and im 19. I know our age is far apart but she’s such an adult TALKER AND ATTITUDE. she always makes me angry and talk shits. Gosh. I just… need a talk. It’ll drive me suicide. I can’t make friends because girls would get jealous of me. This is true. Mostly . Just… how to think positively when negative shits driving me crazy?
September 1, 2017 at 9:17 am #166524AnonymousGuestDear Sam:
You wrote that you hate living where you are living. Maybe someday, not too long from now, you can live someplace else, away from your sister, away from the society you dislike, someplace more suitable for you.
Regarding the online guy friends you dislike, maybe you can post less- or no selfies, so that less guys respond to you.
You cannot change other people’s behaviors (example catcalling you). You can only change your behaviors. And so, learn what behaviors on your part bring about what reactions and if possible, change those. Be selective as to whom you interact with, disconnecting from people who disrespect and mistreat you, and connect to people who respect you and treat you well.
And please, do post here anytime.
anita
September 1, 2017 at 11:27 am #166548DeJanaParticipantHi, Sam
You are 19. Have you finnished school yet?
I went through something similair. When I was 12 I was severly bullied at school. People were mean and I was the quiet kid. The girls were horrible. I am also not bad looking, but at least in my country the problem with cat calling was less, although I know what you mean there too, because I’ve visited such countries and it was frustrating. I really beliave there is no much to be done against it- even if you cover yourself from head to toe…and why should you? It is not your fault! I also get friendship requests from men all the time. I dont answer, just ignore everyone I dont know. Not worth your time!
Till I turned 14 my grades were horribble. Then an aunt who lived abroad invited me and for the first time in my life I was in an foreign culture. And guess what? People were a lot politer there!
I realized the place I grew up was so flawed. And I waited patiently to finnish school, I learned the language of the other country, I prepared. My notes were good, because I had a goal. Four years I waited and then the time came- I left when I was 18, alone.
And that was the best decision I ever made in my life! It was not easy and one has to be brave to leave alone , but hey, it was worth it!
I would advice you to try living somewhere else, because even if you end up returning to Malaysia one day you will be a different person and you will know it was not your fault. Sometimes one does not fit in a certain society.
Now I know that if I return to my home country I would know where to seek for the right people and which to avoid. But I could not know that without leaving!
“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky<If you wish to talk, feel free to contact me 🙂
Wish you the best!
Diyana
September 1, 2017 at 11:09 pm #166646SamParticipantDear Diyana thanks for replying and my god. Your advice is perfect. Thank you so much. I’m relieved now. Feel like making a Friend now
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