Dear Tessa:

You are going to move to NYC? The thought is exciting to me! So my first thought reading your last line: “I just don’t know where to go from here”, was “to New York City!

I find your thinking in this post logical, sensible, reasonable, with one suggested adjustment, perhaps: “I am whole on my own…somebody who is complete on their own’-

I believe no human can be whole on their own, continuously, complete on their own. We are social beings, needing others, and there is nothing any individual can do about this biological reality.

Of course I am not referring to over dependency, people pleasing, the dysfunctional care about winning approval from other… I am referring to the “No man (child or woman) is an island,
Entire of itself.” concept.

anita

Dear Tessa/ sadpeach:

You are welcome. Glad you are excited. You wrote that you hope the move to New York City takes your mind off everything, that would include off him. I hope so too. There are, according to a 2016 census, I think, 8.54 millions people living in NYC, and that does not include the millions of people living elsewhere who work and visit the city daily.

I hope that the one man in your life who meant so much to you, loses some of his importance to you as you get to see so many, many other people. One or a few of them may very well mean a lot in your life. Choose wisely, interact wisely.

anita