Dear Elliot:

It reads to me that she struggled with dissatisfaction for a long time before the actual break up, at least six months earlier. And it reads to me that she was concerned for a long time about your feelings, not wanting you hurt  (“She would plead with me not to take it personally and say that it was her having the issues, not me”) Then during the break up lashing out, on her part, she let go impulsively of the things that bothered her for a long time.

It is common to go from holding one’s feelings in, like she has done for a long time, to lashing out impulsively, the letting go of steam.

I don’t know why she checks on your Snap stories, and what is the nature of her attachment to you. I don’t think it is wise to try to talk her into reconsidering, once again. Getting information from her may be helpful to you, if she can and will be honest and respectful to you at the same time. You asked: “Should I seek her out?”- my answer: only for accurate information, delivered honestly and respectfully, for the purpose of you learning from it for future use.

anita