Sinking

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This topic has 10 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 6 months ago by Mark.

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June 12, 2017 at 8:23 pm #152880

Miracle88
Participant

Hello,

I am lost in life. I am unemployed for a little over 8 months ( 2nd time unemployed in 4 years). I am single for 6 years now. I am going to be 29 in 6 weeks. I almost on the way to move back home. I am totally lost. I have very few friends and I am feeling terrible inside. I don’t want to continue at times. I am feeling worthless inside. I had an interview last week that I did well in but I still didn’t get the job. I don’t know how to continue anymore.

Let me know your thoughts.

June 12, 2017 at 11:35 pm #152894

nextsteps
Participant

Hello,

I’m sorry you are feeling this way. I can appreciate it is hard to see the light sometimes, but it’s still there.

in terms of your job, I believe things happen when they are supposed to happen and it could be that job wasn’t 100% right for you, or you can see not getting the job this time as a lesson in persverence and determination. You just need one lucky break with your job, so perhaps just keep trying for things you are interested in and perhaps find some volunteer or charity work on the side so you can perhaps make more friends or meet new people and have something else to talk about in your job interview. Sometimes you just need one thing to go right then everything else falls into place. perhaps think about a new skill, qyalifcation or hobby you would like to try-this could give you a boost of confidence and allow you to meet new people. There is a website called meet up that can help you meet people in your area and charities often run cheap working holidays where you get out in the outdoors with a group of people and work toward a common goal eg clearing a coastal path etc that again may just give hoy done positive feelings back.

I have been I a similar position to you and can empathise with your situation. In my experience it was following my heart to do what I enjoyed, and making small changes to my life that over time added up.

June 13, 2017 at 8:41 am #152932

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Miracle88:

I hope you feel better soon, finding meaning and purpose in your life.

I wonder: did you choose the username “Miracle” because you believe that you need a miracle in your life?

anita

June 13, 2017 at 10:45 am #152968

Miracle88
Participant

Anita,

I chose my name Miracle88 because my real name means miracle. However, I really do need a miracle right now in my life. I am barely surviving emotionally.

Thanks,

Miracle88

June 13, 2017 at 11:11 am #152976
Mark
Participant
Hey Miracle,

I think the thing to do here is to focus on all the hope you have. You are only 29!

I like to take about fifteen minutes to sort of sit down and make a list of things in my life that I want to happen, including things about myself that I want to change. And then choose one, go back to where you are now, and decide on the first step you can take to achieve one of those goals. Even if you aren’t working and are stuck in other areas of your life, you can still get better, you can still always be moving forward. Create possibilities.

I was just taking a walk about fifteen minutes ago and I found myself replaying one of my least favorite things to think about. And then right in the middle of it, as a whole bunch of emotions started to come over me, I just stopped. And I thought something like, “What good is it doing to think about this right now?” And I felt better.

Hope this helps. Hang in there!
- This reply was modified 7 years, 6 months ago by Mark.
June 13, 2017 at 11:24 am #152980

Anonymous
Guest

Dear miracle88:

Following reading your answer, I wonder if your parents chose this name for you because they were hoping you will bring a miracle into their lives?

A miracle, definition: “a highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment that brings very welcome consequences”- Welcomed consequences is a good thing, problem is in the words “highly improbable”- better make a plan (as suggested above) then sit back and wait for a miracle.

A plan to find meaning, to move forward, to ascend/ rise (antonyms of Sinking, the title of your thread). Would you like to attempt to do it here, on your thread?

anita

June 14, 2017 at 11:35 am #153234

Miracle88
Participant

Hi Anita and Mark,

Thank you for your input. I am putting effort to make my life work for me. It is not easy, yet I am still trying to get through and make it happen for myself. Applying for more positions, talking/networking and praying/yoga/meditation. I feel emotionally horrible, but what else can I do. Meaning in life is different to everyone. I never thought about my life until I was 25. At 25 I thought about life a lot. I started thinking about how to make sense out of my life. I feel hopeless most days. However, I am continuing life trying to get through the day. I imagined I would be married by now, have a good career but that never happened. So I watch as all my peers move on with their life daydreaming of a day when things work out for me.

Thanks,

Miracle88

June 14, 2017 at 12:57 pm #153264

Mark
Participant

Hi Miracle88,

I don’t know exactly what you are going through, but I have felt the same way as you. I know what it likes to feel hopeless. Even if you are feeling horribly, you can still can still create hope. You are still so young.

When I was going through something similar, reading and learning new things really helped me to get out of my own mind. Duolingo is a great way to strengthen your mind while not thinking about your problems. I was doing it at a bar last night and the combination of the atmosphere, alcohol, and learning really made me feel a whole lot better.

There are also a lot of books that can help. I would recommend “Nothing Special” by Charollote Joko Beck, “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Branch, and “The Art of Living: The Classic Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness” by Epictetus and Sharom Lebell are all books that helped me when I was struggling.

June 16, 2017 at 4:12 am #153604

Christy Lim
Participant

Dear Miracle88

Keep trying other interview til it success! You can find some hobby to keep you occupied first besides waiting for your chance. You still got a lot of chance as long you still alive ok? Don’t give up~

June 16, 2017 at 6:22 pm #153742

Miracle88
Participant

Thank you all for the feedback.

June 17, 2017 at 1:00 pm #153798

Mark
Participant

I would say to hang in there, but I’m actually not sure that is good advice. Sometimes that’s all you can do, but a lot of it is creating possibilities for yourself. Keep moving forward!

June 17, 2017 at 2:46 pm #153800

Shani
Participant

I think it’s very strong of you to keep trying. Your life might not be the way you want it to be right now, but try to focus on the things you do have. When you start feeling grateful and happy again, you will find extra energy to keep going. And with that energy you will be able to achieve new things! Make a list of things that make your life worth living, it really helps 🙂

Good luck with everything
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