I mentioned in an earlier post that I have been reading George Kohlrieser’s (2006) book Hostage at the Table: How Leaders Can Overcome Conflict, Influence Others, and Raise Performance.  A concept he introduces in the book really intrigued me this past week.  This concept is the importance of individuals having secure bases (places that help an individual to feel protected and secure amid the instability of the world around them).  Kohlrieser (2006) states that “secure bases have the power to influence whether or not we become hostages to ourselves or to the events in our lives” (p.69).

Kohlrieser goes on to mention that there are two secure bases that are vital for the creation of self-esteem.  These secure bases are attachments to people and attachments to goals.  Both attachments have benefits and liabilities.  If an individual is strong on attachment to others, they may have a sense of security but they may not necessarily feel successful.  On the other hand, finding secure bases in the attachment to goals may help us feel successful, but it will not help an individual deal with feeling alone.

I believe that most secure people tend to be stronger in their attachments to either people or goals.  Do you see yourself having more attachment to people or goals?  What do you see as the strengths and weaknesses of your attachment?

Kohlrieser, G (2011). Hostage at the Table: How Leaders Can Overcome Conflict, Influence Others, and Raise Performance. Hoboken, NJ: Jossey-Bass.