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Becoming Close With Myself Has Changed Everything

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  • May 1, 2017 at 10:46 am #147533
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tessa:

    I was hesitant about replying to your new thread after you expressed dissatisfaction with my last reply to you on your previous thread. But since you addressed this thread to “anyone who has been following my posts over the past year”- and I have- I am replying.

    There is amazing healing you are expressing in this thread, first of its kind in all your previous posts. I am impressed. These is the evidence of your healing in progress:

    1. “I have since cut off contact with my family for the most part as well, because they are very toxic and their health and mental issues are out of my control.”

    2. “I’m trying to take it a day at a time and not think that “I’m cured!” from this depression”

    3. “I am regaining the concept of having things in moderation… I didn’t even remember how it felt to have healthy relationships with food.”

    4. “I just wanted things to go ‘back to how they were’ — … But instead, I have transformed into a new me. A new me that I am still getting to know. I will never be the same again but I am learning that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”- this one is an authentic, unmistaken evidence that you are on the right track: you are in the process of healing.

    Keep at it and post anytime.

    anita

    May 1, 2017 at 10:48 am #147535
    Anonymous
    Guest

    * didn’t submit…

    May 1, 2017 at 1:00 pm #147579
    sadpeach
    Participant

    Anita, thank you. I really appreciate it.

    I was really struggling with the concept of letting my family go and couldn’t really wrap my head around such a drastic measure. However, it wasn’t as drastic as I thought it was going to be. I immediately felt better within a week of deciding to really distance myself, so that is how I knew it was the right decision for me.

    I’m still on good terms with my father though and he seems to be slightly disappointed and stressed that I’ve made this decision. I can tell he understands, but I feel guilty now leaving him to be the only “sane” person to take care of it all. I don’t want to disappoint him, but I have to do what’s best for me. He, unfortunately has a tendency to put things off and be a little dismissive until issues HAVE to be faced, and I’ve been warning him about treating my sister and mother for a long time. Part of me feels bad for him to leave this on his shoulders, but at the same time he wasn’t listening to me when I’ve brought this up for years. Part of me feels selfish, but I quite frankly do not have the resources (literal and emotional) to take this all on.

    May 1, 2017 at 1:10 pm #147585
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tessa:

    You make a lot of sense. There is no perfect solution to your struggles, meaning, you can’t fix your mother and sisters or even your father (cause him to not put things off). And you cannot not feel guilty (for as long as you do). But you can be sane, as you are being. You can be sane and strong in these circumstances.

    Being sane, knowing you function well in your less than favorable circumstances, will build your confidence and strength, your faith in your ability to function well in difficult circumstances.

    anita

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