Thankyou for your replies, I do realise no contact is the best way to go about my situation. The only thing that makes me hesitant is she may drift even further away. The problem is i have never had a connection with anyone in this world like i did with her. We got along so well every single day we talked, we could do anything together. She was my best friend my only true friend. Its hard for me to go no contact in the fear i will loose our connection forever. The relationship is over, i know this and im slowly accepting that. But damn it hurts, she said she is only dating this guy because she misses me and feels lonely and likes someone to do things with. But why wouldnt she be able to do that with friends? So i feel she is just telling me this to make me feel better. Im having trouble letting go of her. I dream about her and i cant her out of my head. I will be moving back to her city in 2 years time but i dont wana spend the next 2 years basing everything on that and its not even guarenteed she will try again or be single. It is time to move on but damn its hard to. Im getting all those toxic thoughts lately about my worth and love and everything. Thinking i will never find anyone like her again and i fdel like i lost my soul mate. I cant stop thinking about what shes doing with him and where she is. I need to stop but its damn hard. I just want to be happy again. And i want her to be happy, i hope she is. I just always thought i would be the one to make her happy 🙁 . It also hurt me alot that she find another partner within a couple of months after we split. My healing is slow, it feels like ill be sad and lonely forever. I hate my own company right now. I dont want my weekends and i cant look at myself in the mirror. Im still in love with her.

I want to be in the romantic relationship we had but she has told me for now its over. She doesnt want a relationship outside of best friends. Because of the distance. I want to be friends atleast because i love having her in my life. What i want and what she wants are 2 different things… i asked her if we were both single when i go back to her city if we could date again and she said who knows what the future will hold… ive heard these replies all before from my ex fiance they were just to keep me happy. Im here for another 2 years until im back in her city but i dont wana wait 2 years for something that might not even be guarenteed. I understand i could meet someone in my future that could blow my ex outa the water for me and make me regret wasting my emotions hurting over someone because its happened to me before but right now it hurts and all i want is her. I might be answering my own questions here but it feels nice to vent and for people to understand and give me advice… i loved soo many things about her and if she wanted me nack i would say yes in a heartbeat..

I appreciate your replies and input. Im finding it so hard to let go of her. Im still completely in love with her and i feel unloveable if she doesnt love me. She is so cold and i dont know why. I havnt spoken to her in almost a week now and im very slowly healing. She is a very honest person and always has been and i know this from being with her. So i dont believe she is lying to me but damn its confusing. I pours my heart out about how i feel because she asked and her reply was if you arnt coping you may need to get help! I was like thanks.. i put my heart and soul into every relationship i get into and it always leaves me broken and angry at the world. I consider myself a kind caring heart and i put myself last and i feel there is nobody out there like me. I know thats mot true but it certainly feels like it at the moment. Anyway me and my work collegue who is going through the same thing have made a goal to no contact for a week then 2 then 3 and keep at it. I want my happiness and positive outlook back. I hate being broken.

My first relationship my ex ended up coming back to me after about 8 months but i knew it was because she had guys treating her badly abd she realised how much she valued me and wanted me back and i foolishly said yes. Im hoping the same happens if i go no contact she might miss me and realise she wants me back. But im positive she wont. A week at a time is working but at this stage im going one day at a time and times going so damn slow. I have so many regrets about this. But life doesnt rewind. I know life has good things for me. But i thought she was one of them. Thankyou for your time and advice i really appreciate it. Tough times ahead.