Dear Redeemer:
Too much of you is hiding, has been hiding for a very long time. Hiding in the dark, chained, imprisoned. You’ve been hiding for so long, yet you are not safe. You are still afraid. And on top of the fear, you are gasping for air. You are not meant to be hiding, caged- that only adds distress to the existing fear.
The part of you that is hiding, gasping for air, in the dark, that part is still alive and if you set that part free of its cage, it will take some time for you to get used to the light, but then you will live in the light.
It is good you stopped using drugs, as I understand it. The drugs did not stop the fear and did not set you free. Competent psychotherapy can do that, set you free, in the safety of the therapeutic relationship.
anita