We met while studying abroad and dated around two years. We are both from different countries. Our relationship was not too bad, though we quarrel some times about stuffs. He is a very emotional person, cares about friends, and very outgoing. While I was a clingy girlfriend but have learnt the lesson, other than that, I consider myself a caring person, friendly but shy towards strangers, quiet outside but talkative with my close ones.

He broke up with me last August due to something that I’ve said because he couldn’t get over it. He was my first love. It was the darkest period of my life because I didn’t have much friends at that time. Fast forward to November, I have finished my studies and was going back to my home country for good, by that time, I still thought of him, but has gradually moved on (i think) (and he lied to me about having someone else because he wants me to move on). He came back and told me he couldn’t forget me, he has learnt from the mistake and wished he could treat me better. He shouldn’t have broken up because of anger. He told me he has been dating around during the break up, and none is serious. He told me he is not ready for a relationship however, and that we can be ‘long distance – more than friends’, and we can start over until we are working in the same country.

To be honest, I still had feelings for him and wanted to give us a try because he has learnt from his mistake. So, after the week, we parted ways and started our long-distance ‘more than friends’ relationship. Things were good at first.

Until this month March when his semester resumes, I argued with him because he seemed distant, and couldn’t make me his priority. He answered me its because he has friends, gym, studies to take care of and will get busier as the semester goes on. And we should take a bit of fresh air. I thought he just needed some space and time so I gave him without a doubt.

After 3 weeks, he told me to not wait for him. Because he might not be able to be in the same country with me (as planned due to family problems), and at the same time, he met someone else. 

He told me ‘I am sorry I am an ass, and you should really hate me’ ‘Will you believe if I told you i met someone else but im not going to marry her because in the end i want to marry you’. This confused me and I was so hurt and everything was a lie i supposed.

Few days later, I texted him, because I felt guilty for talking in a harsh manner before. He said he wish he has never met this girl, he doesn’t know the feeling yet, but he just wants to make her happy and cares for her. He also said he wished we have never broken up, then he wouldn’t have to go on dates in the first place, and he wouldn’t have fallen for her, and things might be different. He loves me very much but he can’t hold two person at the same time, just, not now. So what is the point of him saying he believes there is ‘us’ in the future, making himself a complete jerk. And ‘he is not saying goodbye yet, and see what will happen, in the future’.

Basically, he is asking me to move on, because needs to figure this out, he is stressed because of this as well.

I am just so hurt right now. I feel so betrayed.

The logical side of me think. I need to move on and wait for someone new who’s in the same country. Why wait for someone who broke your heart twice, and have no definite future. If he really loved you, he wouldn’t have fallen for someone else. Everything ended in the first break up. There is definitely someone else that can make you happy.

The emotional side of me can’t help but feel for him, well, you can’t control your feelings, and we have broken up, so he can’t be blamed. To think of how hurt he is right now, hurts me too. At the same time, I felt so hurt by thinking how can he do this to me? How can he continue to date her if he really wants me? I hate that I love him.

Because of this, I read many articles online to clear my thoughts. But I am still confused on how I should feel right now. What if we really ended up together in the future (not sure how), will I forgive him for this? Will he never forget about her?

Why is love so complicated? 🙁 Things are just so messed up right now, I didn’t tell any of my friends because they will probably say ‘I told you not to get back to him!’.

I don’t have a specific question, but some advice from outsiders might help me now.