Hi Claudio,

Wow – you sound exactly like me. I have had my heartbroken time and again because of the expectations that someone else will fill up the void that actually needs to be filled with love and compassion for myself. It’s hard work getting to that point. I went to CoDA for a year and a half and thought I had all my sh*t together but somehow fell back down the rabbit hole when someone promised to love me and “complete” me. I guess I did not take the work seriously enough.

I now believe it’s  life-long process of retraining our brains. All our beliefs about ourselves are put on us by others, though various traumas, mine also from childhood. It’s like living in hell when you don’t believe you’re worthy of your own love, let alone someone else’s. Therapy – with the RIGHT therapist – will turn some of your views around and between that and CoDA and a good meditation practice (just my suggestion) you will get there. I just finished an amazing book that another participant had listed here so I’ll make the recommendation: How Did I Get Here by Barbara De Angelis. She has some really deep insights.

Try to remember that all the pain and grief you feel is there to teach you deep lessons. They may not be evident yet, but in time you will be grateful for the experience. Love to you…