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Was i a Shallow B**** or is he just proud ???

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Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)
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  • March 6, 2017 at 7:11 pm #136279
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Penelope Jones:

    I don’t understand what it is you are trying to fix. There was online communication with this guy and one date, correct? You rejected him after the one date, then changed your mind, suggested to him (what, I didn’t understand) and his response was (what, I didn’t understand).

    And again, about what you are trying to fix: can you state clearly what it is?

    anita

     

     

    March 6, 2017 at 7:40 pm #136305
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    i had a bad break up 2 years ago and in some ways i still have some issues….so my online date was moving to fast, and instead of telling him i also moved fast with him because it felt “right”.

    now, when we met in person, i was not attracted to him physically, so i told him that i did not see a connection between us in person, that our chemistry was better online then offline….

    then i realized that one date was probably not enough and that maybe i should give it another chance, so i asked him what he thought about proceeding to a second date and seeing if we were indeed a good match…

    then he went back and forth changing his mind. he said he really likes me but doesnt know if after what i said he could ever see me again. then he says yes i can see you, then 5 seconds later he says we should just be friends

    March 6, 2017 at 7:42 pm #136311
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    i know i messed up by coming to conclusions, but he made it seem like he really really liked me, and now to just give up this easily for a comment i made which i already explained myself..i just really believe now that if we would have tried we could have been…

    i also told him about how im struggling with my past relationship but that im working on it and getting better, he seems to have a problem with this as well (as if we all dont have some sort of issue from our past) and he has a problem with me wanting to go to meds school!

     

    March 6, 2017 at 7:54 pm #136315
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Penelope Jones:

    After the first date you sent him the message that you ” just did not see the connection but that i hope he would find someone and he deserved the best.”- this is a powerful rejecting message: “just did not see the connection”. It is tough to undo this message.

    If I was you, I would give up on this man. Your message to him was definite, powerful and his response is definite as well, he took the rejection as clearly as it was presented to him.

    match is a major dating site- I wonder if plenty of fish is still  in operation (it was a free online dating site years ago)- make other connections, update your profile, edit your requirements of a match (clarify to yourself the emotional vs physical chemistry issue). Learn from this experience.

    anita

    March 6, 2017 at 8:11 pm #136321
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

     

    Right i understand, i did however explained to him why i said that and where i was coming from, which was from a toxic relationship..i guess im just beating myself up in the head now, it kills me that we will never know..but wouldnt you want to give it a try with someone you think would be the one? isnt this risk worth taking?

    March 7, 2017 at 12:15 pm #136649
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Penelope Jones:

    Maybe if you had a longer, in-person relationship with a man, then it will make sense for him to consider your after thoughts about what you expressed to the man. But it was a short, online, mostly communication and so your rejection message means more.

    It is also possible that even if he had a longer term, in person relationship with you, he would still not re-consider following a rejection. I don’t know him.

    I hope you can let it go. It could be that you are motivated to hold o to his unwillingness to reconsider because of previously being “unforgiven” for mistakes, or so…

    anita

    March 7, 2017 at 5:15 pm #136685
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    ok, but he basically said he did not want to end this, and then he said that it was best to be friends like i had mentioned earlier on in our text messages….so say i really wanted to attempt to try this again..how can i do that with out begging, how can i make him understand that i do like him and that i just made a mistake in saying that?

    March 7, 2017 at 7:21 pm #136801
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Penelope Jones:

    Accept the friends suggestion, and develop an online/in-person friendship. Maybe it will develop and change to an honest, respectful, intimately loving relationship that will serve the two of you well.

    anita

    March 7, 2017 at 8:09 pm #136991
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    Thank you sooo much! we are back to texting, taking things slow, and seeing where it leads us to 🙂 thank you sooo much Anita!!!

    March 7, 2017 at 8:23 pm #136997
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, Penelope Jones. I wish the two of you well. Post again, anytime.

    anita

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