fbpx
Menu

Keep moving forward

Home→Forums→Relationships→Keep moving forward

New Reply
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • March 2, 2017 at 8:36 am #132561
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jamie:

    You asked: “why are these anxious, angry feelings still lingering?”- to answer this, when did these feelings start- last summer or did they exist before the summer, to a lesser extent, maybe? How about before this relationship, before you met this man?

    “Shouldn’t they be gone by now?”- feelings don’t follow the should-logic. They persist as long as they the message they carry wasn’t fully heard yet (hence, I asked the questions above, beginning the quest to look for that message).

    “And am I making the right decision by deciding to work on my relationship rather than finding someone new to start a relationship with?”- let’s look for and find the message first, otherwise, you don’t learn what you need to learn now, a learning that will serve you well in deciding what to do next.

    anita

    March 2, 2017 at 9:27 am #132577
    Jamie
    Participant

    I have been seeing a counselor since September. Recently I discovered through these sessions is that I’ve actually always had these anxious, angry, sad feelings even before I met him. When I met him, he made me forget all these insecurities until we broke up, until I learned what he did when we were broken up and what I did in reaction to that. Overall I learned that I don’t love myself nearly as much as I should. Previous relationships and childhood memories attributed to these feelings, it’s just that these feelings sprouted again because they weren’t dealt with previously.

    I am working on loving myself more, being grateful for what I have and living life in the moment instead of the future of the past. The journey is rather difficult, but it is nice to know that he is there supporting me every step of the way. He isn’t a crutch, but more of a rock when I am feeling weak. So I guess I answered my own question then, I did make the right decision by working on my relationship. I just have to work on myself more.

    March 2, 2017 at 9:38 am #132583
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jamie:

    I like your answer to your own question. I will add to him being your rock (you mentioned this in your last post and in your original post)- that you will be his rock too. In the communication between the two of you, be each other’s rock. Let him know and have him let you know, about your individual fears, each taking responsibility to your own feelings, and help each other. Neither one of you can heal each other, but you can definitely help each other in the process of your individual healing.

    anita

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.