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How do i tell a girl i don't want to be friends?

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  • February 21, 2017 at 6:11 am #128651
    Hunter
    Participant

    alright so i’ve known this girl for a little more than 2 years now, and it was all well and good up until recent when i started really thinking about it. This girl, let’s call her “M”, has been messing with my mind. At times i feel like she wants something more out of our “relationship”, but others she pushes me away and talks about other guys. M insists that we are best friends but in the 2 years i’ve known her, she has never tried to make plans with me unless she says something like “i miss you”, so i call her out on not trying to make plans then she turns it on me and i’m the bad guy.
    Another reason why i don’t think this relationship is healthy for me at all is that i feel like i’m being used for attention. Most of the time M texts me is when she either a) is bored, b) when she wants to know what picture to post, or c) when she is having guy problems. this makes me think that i’m a last resort in a way, that i’m only there because she has nothing else to do.
    I’m really confused and would like to let her down easy if possible.
    Thanks.

    February 21, 2017 at 8:43 am #128671
    Adam P
    Participant

    Hey there Pats12,
    Congrats on finding the answer to this situation on your own. Understanding the fact that you are being used for attention and discovering that it is not an authentic relationship/friendship. The easiest way to handle this would be to once again state how you are having difficulty contributing to the friendship. As you mentioned before when you called her out on her actions, she began to get defensive and projected it on toward you. Avoid this at all costs the next interaction.
    The next time you see “M” let her know of the difficulty you are having and let her know that you are not able to handle it. Slowly after some time begin to break contact with her and start living your life once again. Of course she may do you the favor and after you let her down easily, she may not want to talk with you any longer because you showed actual human emotions and she won’t be able to handle it aka “use you”. I went through what you’re going through as well with girls in my early 20s. After some time I got tired of all the games and hidden agendas and went back to being direct and honest to the point. They are out of my life, no contact and I’m much more at peace.
    Hope it all works out. I know it will.
    Thank you and take care
    -AP85

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